jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted August 06, 2003 03:51 PM
OT: Are you a Motorcycle Addict?
1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.
3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.
4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work
5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen
6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles
7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I was riding even while in cars
8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.
9. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.
10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.
12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.
13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.
14. Most of my friends are heavy motorcycle riders.
15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.
16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.
17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden.
18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.
19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.
If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle abuser. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem.
Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Abuse, or MA, has risen to new evels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle
abusers is currently at record levels.
SOCIAL COSTS OF MOTORCYCLE ABUSE
Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.
Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourists and Posers alike. Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime
of vertigo, daydreaming and emotional instability.
HEREDITY
Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an abuser become abusers themselves.
OTHER PREDISPOSING FACTORS
Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play games, participate in healthy sports, or watch television (other than SpeedVision) in the evening.
PREVENTION
Pre-marital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection.
  
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Hells Dark Lord
Needs a life
living life, and loving it.
Posts: 7981
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posted August 06, 2003 04:08 PM
OMG...I have terminal MA.....what do I do?????????????
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When in doubt, lean farther and go faster....
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Dino
Pro
Posts: 1422
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posted August 06, 2003 05:35 PM
yes
____________
uh oh
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted August 06, 2003 05:43 PM
Just take another spin...everything will be allright....
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Megabyte
Pro
Posts: 1047
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posted August 06, 2003 09:15 PM
Is there a pill I can take ?
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We First make our habits and then our habits make us.
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 04:54 AM
Oh shit..........
I may have to seek professional help!!! 
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Hells Dark Lord
Needs a life
living life, and loving it.
Posts: 7981
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posted August 07, 2003 05:07 AM
only proffesional you have to see Rick is the dam proctoligist, so he can get Richy's head out of your ass.......see ya Clit boy......
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When in doubt, lean farther and go faster....
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 05:18 AM
Hey Goatboy!!!!!!!!
How 'bout you drinkin' a 55 gal. drum of "Choke to Death"!!! It'd make my life much more stress free ya nad nibblin' fuckwad!!!!!! 
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Hells Dark Lord
Needs a life
living life, and loving it.
Posts: 7981
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posted August 07, 2003 05:26 AM
was just noticing your signature....triple digit wheelies??? how do you do that on your little red moped?????
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When in doubt, lean farther and go faster....
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted August 07, 2003 06:28 AM
He's gone two teeth down in front and down 5 in the rear. That's how.
'normal' folks would be doing the same wheelies at 45 mph.
That also explains why Numbskullboob12Remedial thinks he's so damned fast.
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 06:44 AM
Everytime...........
quote:
was just noticing your signature....triple digit wheelies??? how do you do that on your little red moped?????
Just about everytime I ride it. Also, never, and I mean NEVER call Lil' Red a moped. That's like calling the SR-71 a friggin' crop duster you sumbiatch.
Honestly I do love to ride wheelies, ask Horsepower Mike, Roger, or Otis about the time I wheelied by a THP at about 100mph.!!!! DOH!!!!! Made the ride back to the hotel "Real Interesting".
jon,
BLOW ME you fuckin' Arkansas Outhouse Bandit.
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted August 07, 2003 06:52 AM
Shit, bitch. You'd have to pull your cock out of Harry and Sherm's love Ewe in order for that to ever happen. Besides, how does one go down on Vienna sausage?
Arkansas Outhouse Bandit?
Go put your damned false teeth back in you fookin' Toothless Tennesse Turd Tosser. Oh, yeah, you lost 'em in HDL's ass trying to eat his goat clit.
I'm sure you and HDL's ass have had some great conversations, eh? A talking asshole is about on Rick's level. Just because it has teeth doesn't mean it's going to talk back.
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 06:54 AM
*yawn*
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted August 07, 2003 06:54 AM
Oh my! I so happy to see that I don't have any of those symptoms!
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted August 07, 2003 06:55 AM
 Edited By: jonwright on 7 Aug 2003 08:03
quote:
*yawn*
Yeah, that's what I thought, biatch.
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 07:07 AM
quote:
Oh my! I so happy to see that I don't have any of those symptoms!
That is the most sane thing I've heard all day. Thanks sherm!!!! 
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted August 07, 2003 07:57 AM
Edited By: redelk on 7 Aug 2003 12:52
20. You take apart your bike, telling you wife that there's a problem with the "blinker fluid pump".
21. Your garage is the cleanest place in the house.
22. You buy the best oil for your bike every 2000 miles and forget to change the oil in your car.
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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necro
Needs a job
My Grandma Is A Virgin
Posts: 2148
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posted August 07, 2003 08:38 AM
Yes yes yes.......
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3829
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted August 07, 2003 08:40 AM
#23
23. Your car/truck looks like it just got cabled out of a friggin' river and was allowed to "sun dry" for about a month. Yet the bike stays immaculate.
Sherm I can really relate to the oil change comment. 
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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