Stentman
Parking Attendant
Posts: 5
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posted December 07, 2001 10:23 AM
Hello From Stentman
Hello Everyone:
I just wanted to post a short message to say hello to all and let you know that I miss and think of you folks often.
My life has been interesting to say the least and I'm trying to make sense of it day by day.
As most of you know, my wife packed up and shipped out this past September. I had found that she had been having an affair since February (I found the emails in June, things NOBODY would ever want to read about their spouse)and to save my family and marriage, I forgave her. We went to counseling, etc. To no avail. To my ignorance and belief in her, her affair continued through the summer. I stood beside her and forgave her, but she never really came back.
On the morning of our anniversary she told me goodbye. I'll spare the details to you all but it was to the effect of I don't love you, haven't for a long time, and want out. I spent the rest of the day cancelling dinner plans, taking back presents, limo, you name it. Totally devastated I watched her pack up and leave that following weekend and take my kids. Hoping that she'd come to her senses and come back, I didn't argue with her as to the schedule for seeing the children; I was to have them every other weekend and one day a week. Well she later told me that she had this planned way back in February and didn't want to disrupt the children over the summer due to her rigorous traveling scheduling with work (in other words, she wanted me to babysit while she was traveling and having her fun with her significant others.)
What makes this more interesting is that now I find from an incredibly reliable source, is that my previous suspicions from last year have been confirmed. On top of everything else she has in fact, been having an affair with her boss. Yep, just when I thought I had been to hell, it gets worse! Her boss has been asked to resign his top-executive level position and to relocate to Pittsburgh "due to his documented affairs with Valerie" (my wife).
So, in a nutshell guys and gals, I sold my ZX12, my gunsafe, and most of my guns to raise money to fight for custody of my children. Most of my weekends and nights are spent researching and coming up with ways to get my kids back. They are my life and she took them from me due to her affairs.
I'm not writing for pity; God knows there are people out there in much worse situations, but moreso to let you all know why I just dissapeared. I have made many great friendships on this board and felt as though I owed you all an explanation. I have been "to the edge" several times since she left and were it not for close friends and family, I don't really know where I'd be right now.
At any rate, I wanted to say hi, and that I wish you all well. I'll check back from time to time. Merry Christmas everybody. Hawkman, thanks again for calling me over Thanksgiving.
I miss you all.
Stentman
StentmanFrank@aol.com
  
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SPEEDCRAVER
Expert Class
Posts: 183
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posted December 07, 2001 10:43 AM
Hang in there man, as I said before it will get better. It is great to hear from you I have been thinking of you and wondering what's up. Thanks for the update and we will all be looking for you to return for good no matter how long it takes.
Your bud,
Alan
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I keep all of my guns loaded, to many people die from unloaded guns.
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22348bCVC
Zone Head
Posts: 798
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posted December 07, 2001 10:59 AM
hang in there
...its incredible just how evil some people can be towards another person whether its emotionally, physically, morally, or financially...I see it at work on a weekly basis and it can get pretty depressing for those involved...peace and best wishes to you...your kids need you, too...
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...just relax...my dog wants to use only one of your legs...
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted December 07, 2001 11:40 AM
Hang in there Frank............
Frank I am sorry to hear all of this. Chin up bro, it's hard to keep a good man down. In light of the situation I hope you win the custody battle, because it seems your wife doesn't have her priorities in order, and you do.
If you need anything don't hesitate to contact me anytime day or night. I'm here for you.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted December 07, 2001 11:45 AM
I don't know what to say Frank, except I'm here for you. Stay strong and fight hard for your kids. I don't know anything about the law in these circumstances but I always thought a spouse couldn't leave the state with the kids unless they have approval from the other.
We'll be here if you want to chat and I'll be thinking about you and praying for you.
Chris
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It's a free country brother
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CrotchRocket
Moderator
Bracket Racing with Betsy
Posts: 8038
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posted December 07, 2001 11:54 AM
CHEECH...
I feel for you Cheech...My ex did the very same thing with minor details changed!!! I know just what you are feeling about the kids..I asked her for custody of the kids 5 times...Not going the family court route to get custody!!! If she isnt a heavy alcoholic or drug user I'm not getting them acording to the mediators at family court...
I to get the kids every weekend and they sleep over... All I do is make the best of the time I spend with them...
Only advise is remember this...People dont change!!! They only change temporarily to suit thier own needs!!!
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Jason Miller StreetBike Seminars
*****DragRacers do it better, because they dont cut Corners*****
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted December 07, 2001 12:13 PM
We ALL are here for you!
Don't be a stranger, either! Think of us as a support group... with a bad attitude! Just what you need!
I can relate to EVERYTHING that has been happening in your life. I too, tried to forgive and reconcile. Even after financing TWO abortions. This is, two abortions long AFTER my very effective vasectomy. It got to the point that I would get retested everytime she missed a period. Hell, my doctor even quite charging me for the tests.
Even when I did get primary custody of the children, I was seeing lawyers so often, I should have just paid them a retainer. I even spent time with our local child support enforcement unit over her failure to make any effort of financial support. That was tough in the late 80's. Everyone was talking about "Deadbeat Dads" and no one ever mentioned "Deadbeat Moms". It was as if there wasn't such a thing.
My point is, DO NOT be a stranger. It's in your best interests to hang with your friends. Both in person and by any other means. In fifteen years from now, I DO NOT want you to have to go through what I have. Your probably have far more emotional strength then I do, but these events can still bring down the strongest of individuals.
If you want, you can e-mail me (the best way to get a hold of me) at anytime! adcraft@cei.net
Never forget.... we're here for ya bro!
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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Dino
Pro
Posts: 1422
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posted December 07, 2001 12:18 PM
Jeeze Frank,that's gotta' be rough on a guy.I hope you get the kids back and she gets what's coming to her. Sad circumstances,....but it IS good to hear you're still out there alive and semi-well! I think it's safe to say we're all here for ya'. Take care and be strong,...Dino
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uh oh
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silver01bullit
Expert Class
on here too much
Posts: 333
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posted December 07, 2001 01:01 PM
Damn Stent,
Hang tough man and don't take no shit. Never give up and don't stop pushing till you get the rugrats back! Make the most out of your time with them and she'll get what's coming to her.
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Y2KZX12R
Needs a job
CompetitionCNC.com
Posts: 3762
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posted December 07, 2001 01:34 PM
Frank, glad to here from ya. Hope things start to straighten out soon for ya.
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Y2KZX12R
CompetitionCNC.com
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kcadby
Pro
Posts: 1733
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posted December 07, 2001 01:52 PM
GLAD to hear from you...
I was talking to Harry(ZX12) the other day about you...
Was wondering if he knew anything...
I hope you get what you want out of this situation...the kids...wish I could help...
When my parents split-up (dad just left)...it affected me deeply...and I WAS 15 at the time...be true to your kids (as I KNOW you will)...
You have friends all over the freakin place...
Please come visit us here every once in a while (at LEAST)...I don't own a 12 either you know!?!?!?
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BlackMandingoWarrior
Expert Class
Posts: 320
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posted December 07, 2001 02:29 PM
It's Good To Hear From You....
But disappointing to hear of your unfortunate circumstances. Be strong for you children and don't give up fighting for them. It is true that men don't stand much of a chance in getting custody but it's getting better each day. Situations such as yours strengthen every man's case and yours is certainly not impossible to overcome. Stay in prayer, stay positive, keep positive people around and continue to fight. With GOD all things are possible!!
It's great to hear from you!!
Peace
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TurboBlew
Moderator
BUSY DOING THE SCHIAVO
Posts: 4590
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posted December 07, 2001 04:05 PM
Frank, Im sorry to hear about this. Had a lifelong friend go through the very same thing. He's doing ok and you will too!! There's not much I can say to console you, but if you need anything my email is: a750turbo@dragbike.com
I wish you and your children the best!
____________
Official Charter Member of the RIDERS OF KAWASAKI MEMBERSHIP REVOCATION CLUB
Also a BadAss Internet Forum Moderator 4 Hire!! Come at me brah!
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kzz1
Zone Head
"Show me whatcha workin with"
Posts: 908
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posted December 07, 2001 04:39 PM
quote:
If you need anything don't hesitate to contact me anytime day or night. I'm here for you.
I heard that!!!! If you need anything from me, you just let me know!!!!
I hope everything works out for you!!! Good luck with the battle and keep your chin up!!!! We are all behind ya!!!
Miss ya Bud!!!! Take care of your family....... This family (All of us) will still be here when you return!!!!
Angi
ZX12Girl
(Using Hubby's Coputer / User ID)
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EastBayDave
Needs a job
Posts: 2245
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posted December 07, 2001 05:01 PM
Was wondering what happened to you Frank. Keep your chin up & will be praying for you & your kids. All the best...
Dave
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Enjoy the ride!
02' ZRX1200
00' ZX12R sold
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Hawkman
Zone Head
Posts: 747
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posted December 07, 2001 06:12 PM
Great to see you on the board, Frank! The roughest part is over with now. You're through it and I'm so glad you're pulling through strong! More so than you thanking us for our friendship...thank YOU for being our friend! Take care, dude! ;-)
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fish_antlers
Administrator
The Truth is Out There
Posts: 21894
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posted December 07, 2001 06:14 PM
Good to hear from you..... keep us posted and good luck!
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Need4Green
Parking Attendant
Posts: 14
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posted December 07, 2001 06:30 PM
Hi Stent glad you are starting to get things together. You have your priorities straight. I am sure you will get the custody after the judge looks at the background. Hang in there and will keep you in my prayers.
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Bikelover
Novice Class
Posts: 64
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posted December 07, 2001 07:27 PM
Damn Stent. I'm really sorry. Keep your head up. If there is anything and I mean ANYTHING that I can do, please let me know.
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eatsbusas
Parking Attendant
Posts: 3
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posted December 07, 2001 08:14 PM
Hey Stent, good to hear from you. I'm not sure why fortune smiles on some and lets the rest go free. I guess sooner or later we all get some heavy crosses to bear. I hate to think the pain you've had with this whole thing. Seek your family and friends and keep the faith through the weaker moments, it will get better!
I wish you the best of luck in the battle for your kids and the return of your peace of mind.
We are all here for you.
Stay in touch. (ex. jetjock)
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DaveInDaytona
Pro
Posts: 1696
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posted December 07, 2001 08:42 PM
Hey Frank,
Thanks for checking in. I've been down the breakup road myself and what kept me from going over the edge was focusing on the kids. Keep it in mind. I had a great lawyer that set me straight on a lot of things, especially to keep the long term with the kids in sight and let the small fights roll off. Everything about it sucks, and when you think it will get better it may suck worse, but it gets better, it really does. Take care and good luck.
Dave
daveindaytona@yahoo.com
Check in here for some light hearted ribbing too, that should help.
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DaytonaSportbikes Forum
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Bigju
Expert Class
Posts: 238
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posted December 07, 2001 11:32 PM
Man, its great to see you post. I hate that things are going like they are for you. Just remember you have kids to live for. No matter how things play out your the dad they know! You also have to realize the sun will rise everyday, as must you. This is nothing but pressure. Pressure makes diamonds and cracks pipes. I give you credit for being a diamond. We all know your hurt and shocked but don't let this thing get the best of you. Things will work out for you.
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OzRed12
Novice Class
Posts: 34
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posted December 07, 2001 11:41 PM
Glad to hear from you
Frank, Your life has now just begun, new life that is. You WILL meet someone else and you will love again....look forward and don't look back. Enjoy time with your kids, give them your love and they will decide who they want to see more of in later years....Best wishes for Christmas my cyber friend.
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frEEk
Administrator
ummm... yeah
Posts: 9660
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posted December 08, 2001 02:11 AM
damn stentman, im really sorry to hear all that. all i can really say is i wish things start goin ur way. its incredible to hear how many people get screwed over by the people who r supposed to be the missing half of our souls. no wonder im still single. i really hope we'll see ya at laguna this summer. i seem to remember barry sayin u lived right down the street from him or something? if so, u would be close. in the meantime, keep in touch; theres alot of good shoulders to lean on here.
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12RPilot
Pro
Posts: 1094
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posted December 08, 2001 06:59 AM
Been there, done that, lost thirty pounds from the stress. I wish I was there with you through all this, Pal. I found that a healthy stress release is very important. Emphasis on healthy. My prayers are with you.
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If you aren't an AMA member, you're part of the problem.
NESBA #209
http://www.bikepics.com/members/12rpilot/04zx10r/
 
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