jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 10, 2003 09:54 PM
Weee!!!!!!!!
http://www.stileproject.com/flash/weee.html
  
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 10, 2003 09:59 PM
Gonads and strife...heh...
I saw this fast mother fucker in a wheelchair and he said "Wheeeeee!!!"
Dood. If I was ever in a wheel chair...I'd be that fast motherfucker.
That said, "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!"
Really.
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 10, 2003 10:00 PM
aint' you ain't got drugs yet...
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 11, 2003 06:55 AM
Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about
their professions...
The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know... Young,
Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist."
The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y., you know... Double
Income, No Kids Yet."
The third guy says, " I'm a R.U.B, you know... Rich, Urban,
Biker"
They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?"
She replies: " I'm a W.I.F.E., you know...
..........Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 11, 2003 06:57 AM
My friends, two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then, a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in."
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 11, 2003 07:00 AM
A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 13, 2003 07:14 AM
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well
dressed
middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary
traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat."
The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said,
"You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my
little FiFi is using that seat?"
The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after
another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the
woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm
very tired."
The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only
are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"
The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog,
tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor
and chastise the American.
An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know, sir,
you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat
holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side
of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 14, 2003 04:19 PM
Those silly French people!
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 14, 2003 04:24 PM
Gonads and....
LIGHTENING!!!!!!!!!!!
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wannabe
Pro
Posts: 1931
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posted April 14, 2003 04:43 PM
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the check-out counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for my brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you used these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."
____________
-----------
"There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; the rest are just games." - Ernest Hemingway
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INTRA
Expert Class
Posts: 307
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posted April 14, 2003 09:17 PM
Jack and jill went up the hill,each with a buck and a quarter..............
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wannabe
Pro
Posts: 1931
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posted April 14, 2003 11:02 PM
Jill came down with 2 fitty...
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WrenisPinkle
Expert Class
that's Mr. PINKLE to you
Posts: 110
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posted April 17, 2003 07:49 PM
top
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Ballisticzx12r
Zone Head
& Deals Gap Board Member
Posts: 940
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posted April 17, 2003 07:54 PM
WYF
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 18, 2003 06:42 AM
An old man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues:
Man: I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70
years, many children, grandchildren, and great
grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college
girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had
sex with each of them three times.
Priest: Are you sorry for your sins?
Man: What sins?
Priest: What kind of a Catholic are you?
Man: I'm Jewish
Priest: Why are you telling me all this?
Man: I'm telling everybody.
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 18, 2003 06:52 AM
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said," It was a
good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater
seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church fills first.
The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you
told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people
back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock
'n roll gospel choir. We are packed to the balcony."
"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased
that you are open to the new ideas of youth."
"Well," said the elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far
with the drive-thru confessional."
"But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions have
nearly doubled since I began that!"
"I know, son," replied the elderly priest, "but that flashing neon
sign,'Toot 'n Tell or Go To Hell' can't stay on the church roof."
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FastBikes4Life
Novice Class
Posts: 82
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posted April 19, 2003 06:23 PM
Before writing this joke I first want to aplogize. It's bad. I got it from a mechanic at work.
Little girl walks up to her mom taking a bath and asks "mommy what's that?" pointing at her mom's crotch.
"That's my vagina, dear." answers mom.
"When can I have one?" asks little girl.
"When you grow up, honey." answers mom finishing her bath and walking out.
Next dad comes, drops his pants and starts taking a wiz.
"Daddy, what's that?" asks little girl pointing at her dad's crotch.
"That's daddy's penis, honey." answers dad.
"when can I have one of those?" asks little girl.
"As soon as mommy leaves for work, honey." answers dad.
I told you it was really bad.
Fast
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted April 19, 2003 06:35 PM
Ewwww...delete that joke.....
But I have one like that, too.
...but I'll spare everyone.
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cmy12rgo
Expert Class
Posts: 160
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posted May 11, 2003 08:10 PM
TOP
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cmy12rgo
Expert Class
Posts: 160
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posted May 11, 2003 08:11 PM
12:10 in the A.M here .....i am soooooooooooooooo board....
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Wildman
Expert Class
I only look confused
Posts: 318
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posted May 14, 2003 08:23 PM
Tbthtbthh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
____________
If you build something Idiot Proof, The world will build a better Idiot.
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slug
Pro
Out in search of my mind...
Posts: 1433
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posted May 15, 2003 09:30 PM
 Edited By: slug on 14 Jul 2003 17:47
real film pictures taken through the telescope should be better. will have those in a few days
 
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Scooter
Zone Head
Posts: 899
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posted July 14, 2003 03:28 AM
So,..... it's been 2 months. 
____________
"Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional."
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ScaredyCat
Expert Class
Posts: 201
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posted July 14, 2003 08:26 AM
Goddam - is this all you need to do to get the huge post numbers? And I thought these fucks were knowledgeable....
____________
If it ain't broke, BREAK IT.
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Wildman
Expert Class
I only look confused
Posts: 318
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posted August 03, 2003 10:22 AM
You shoulda known better than that
____________
If you build something Idiot Proof, The world will build a better Idiot.
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