zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 08, 2003 05:13 AM
Fortune Teller.....This is so Correct. It Works
http://www.fhm.com/img/mailout/img/nov15/test.htm
  
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 08, 2003 05:17 AM
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered,"
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color-coded,"
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon, Dr. Morris Fishbein, shuts them all up when he observes: "The French are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass ! are interchangeable."
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 08, 2003 05:18 AM
Coincidence or what?????? Look What the initials stand for
1.) IACOCCA (the former Chrysler president and CEO)
I
Am
Chairman
Of
Chrysler
Corporation
America
2.) BUSH (the american president)
Beat
Up
Saddam
Hussein !
3.) CLINTON (remember him?)
Call
Lewinsky
I
Need
The
Oral
Now !
But this last coincidence can't be beaten:
4.) OSAMA (who doesnt know him, huh?)
Oh
Shit
American
Missiles
Again !!
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 08, 2003 05:19 AM
Saddam's doctor called a meeting of all the Saddam's doubles.
"Men, I've got some good news and I've got some bad news.
The good news is Saddam is still alive.
The bad news is he lost an arm."
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted April 08, 2003 07:18 AM
A Republican Guard general was travelling with his troops when he hear a voice coming from the other side of a desert dune... "One Texan is better the 10 Iraqi Republican Guards". Slightly miffed, the gerneral sent ten of his men over the dune.
After some brief gunfire, there was silence and then the voice returned. "One Texan is better the 100 Iraqi Republican Guards". Growing angry, the general sent 100 of his men over the dune.
This time, a serious battle raged and then there was again.. silence. The voice returned. "One Texan is better the 1000 Iraqi Republican Guards". Enraged the general sent over 1000 troops over the dune.
A fierce battle raged for many hours and then silence. Shortly after that, a single severly injured Rublican Guard soldier crawled over the dune. As he crawled to the general, he looked up and said in his last dying breath, "It's a trap... there's TWO of them!".
____________
There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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your car is slow
Needs a job
Fuck Nitrous...Got Boost?
Posts: 4089
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posted April 08, 2003 07:33 AM
The Hayabusa is the worlds fastest production motorcycle.
(hey..this IS a joke thread right?)
____________
Do not taunt happy fun ball!
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zx12zx11
Expert Class
Posts: 471
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posted April 09, 2003 05:44 AM
THE EULOGY
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She soon
married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But she
remarried and this time had 5 more children.Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord
above,thanking Him for this loving woman who fulfilled His commandment to "Go
forth and multiply."In his eulogy, the preacher said, "Lord, they're finally
together."Leaning over to a neighbor, one mourner quietly asked "Do you
think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The neighbor replied, "I think he means her legs."
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