frEEk
Administrator
ummm... yeah
Posts: 9660
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posted March 04, 2003 08:14 PM
What Not To Say To A Cop
hey wormy, how many a these have u heard?
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, I didn't realize that my radar detector wasn't on.
3. Aren't you the guy from the village people?
4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me.
5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
6. Bad cop! No donut!
7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?
8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school.
9. I pay your salary.
10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this 44 magnum!
12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist.
13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
14. By the looks of that gut, I bet I can outrun you.
15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
16. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
18. Yes, I know there are no other cars aroundĀ\that's how far they are ahead of me.
19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
thx to maddog who emailed em to me.
   
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Chicken Hawk
Parking Attendant
Posts: 5
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posted March 05, 2003 12:20 AM
20. "Pull my finger"...... 
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted March 05, 2003 05:05 AM
#21........
21. Next time you scare me with that siren I'm gonna break my foot off in yer ass.............
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted March 05, 2003 05:10 AM
#22......
22. Let's twist one up outta your sack, I fucked around and left my shit at home......
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted March 05, 2003 05:15 AM
#23.....
23. How 'bout a dual you spineless fuck, I got my pistol right here under the seat.........
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted March 05, 2003 05:18 AM
#24...
24. Isn't your sister the chick who gives the killer hand-jobs down at the XXX theater??? That biatch has got much talent..........
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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swft
Needs a life
Full throttle!
Posts: One MEEEEEELLION
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posted March 05, 2003 06:33 AM
#25
You look just like that faggot in 'RoadHouse'. 
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workman1000
Parking Attendant
Posts: 13
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posted March 05, 2003 07:18 AM
This is what not to say to a cop:
http://home.mchsi.com/~workman1000/video/he_wont_do_nothing.avi
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vozizm
Needs a job
Got Nothing Witty To Say
Posts: 4417
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posted March 05, 2003 07:32 AM
ohh shit workman..lol...lol 
is that shit true!!
____________
VOZ
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doubleaught
Novice Class
Posts: 45
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posted March 05, 2003 09:20 AM
'Well, actually I'm speeding because I didn't wan't to get caught with that bag of dope under my seat. I was also hoping that I could get away from you so you wouldn't find my unregistered pistol in the glovebox. But since you've already caught me, I may as well confess to murdering my mother in law. Her body is in the trunk'. So the cop calls in backup and a supervisor. They look under the seat - no dope. They look in the glovebox - no gun. They open the trunk - no dead body. Understandably confused, the supervisor comes up to me and tells me that the cop said that I had drugs under the seat, a gun in the glovebox, and a dead body in the trunk. 'I suppose that son-of-a-bitch told you I was speeding, too!'
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted March 05, 2003 09:35 AM
VERY GOOD.......
doubleaught that is a good one for sure!!! LMFAO
____________
What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Megabyte
Pro
Posts: 1047
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posted March 05, 2003 11:08 AM
I just took a dump and gave birth to a state patrol 
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We First make our habits and then our habits make us.
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Megabyte
Pro
Posts: 1047
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posted March 05, 2003 11:09 AM
 Edited By: Megabyte on 5 Mar 2003 11:53
quote:
You look just like that faggot in 'RoadHouse'.
Now that was a good movie. Best fight scene yet!
____________
We First make our habits and then our habits make us.
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted March 05, 2003 11:50 AM
Generally, I find that people who walk around with loaded weapons don't quite have the same sense of humor I do...
But the things I'd love to say.....
How about this:
"I think you should let me go for being nice and stopping. I coulda smoked yer ass and you'd never see me again!"
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workman1000
Parking Attendant
Posts: 13
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posted March 05, 2003 12:27 PM
Voz,
I don't know, someone sent it to me. I got a big laugh out of it.
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slug
Pro
Out in search of my mind...
Posts: 1433
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posted March 05, 2003 05:24 PM
workman: should be renamed: "The stupid shall be punished"
  
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zx12rpilot
Expert Class
Posts: 120
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posted March 05, 2003 05:38 PM
Lesson learned... ?
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workman1000
Parking Attendant
Posts: 13
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posted March 05, 2003 08:30 PM
It kills me up when his buddie says,"Come on really, what can he do though? He can't do shit to you man. Just do it."
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TedG
Moderator
Posts: 8222
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posted March 06, 2003 11:12 AM
Roll down the window and say "I'll take a double burger with everything a large Coke, and a large order of fries"
____________
Ted
2000 Green ZX12 sold
The fast color!!
Green 2005 ZX10R
2009 Concours Black ABS
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