Otis
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posted February 10, 2003 05:42 AM
Otis makes the paper!
Susan Ager is a columnist in the Detroit Free Press. She is a liberal and as you all know I am a conservative and a constitutionalist. Well, I have had quite a few heavy e-mail debates with her on many issues and one last week concerning the Shuttle. Well, one thing led to antoher and we got started on Valentines day and we actually both agreed on how stupid it was. So she said she was writing an article about it and could she quote me? I said sure. It was in Sunday's paper, Here is it. I am C. from Novi.
SUSAN AGER: Valentine's Day makes the heart sink
February 9, 2003
Once upon a time, when you and I were young, Valentine's Day was simple and sweet.
The night before, you sat at the kitchen table gripping a stubby pencil and signed your name to little cards with big red hearts and cute animals and sentiments as plain as "Be Mine."
The next day at school, you slipped among the desks and passed out your cards. You traded tiny candy hearts stamped with other simple sentiments: URAQT or SWEET TALK. If a certain someone handed you a KISS ME heart, you giggled and blushed.
That night, you lay awake, replaying it all. The worst thing about growing up is that easy joys get complicated.
Now, Valentine's Day is about proving your love by spending money. Cards aren't sugary but suggestive. And before the day is over, you must also prove your passion.
A kiss and on to business
The man I love and I used to fall for all that.
Now, here is how we celebrate Valentine's Day:
At some point one of us remembers the day. "Oh!" we say. "It's Valentine's Day, isn't it? Thanks for being my sweetie." We pucker up and place a chaste kiss on the other's lips.
Then we go about our business.
Somehow, our marriage survives.
I assumed this casual celebration of Valentine's Day emerged only after many years of contentment. But some people are bright enough to figure it out early.
C., a reader in Novi, has been married just 3 1/2 years. He's only 35. He's a new father.
Here's how he and his wife celebrate: "We basically just give each other a kiss. If I came home with a ridiculous gift she would be mad that I fell in the trap set by Hallmark.
"She knows how much she means to me. I send her a card through the mail every couple weeks, bring her flowers periodically for no reason and tell her I love her every day.
"If it takes Valentine's Day for a husband to give a gift or card to his wife, I feel sorry for him."
What might make a difference
C. and I need to remember, though, that some couples approach Valentine's Day with heartache and dread because they're not so happy with each other.
Will a lavish gift fix things? How about an opulent dinner? A bundle of flowers too big to put your arms around? No. No. And no.
What might make a difference is a trip, a journey inside.
For couples who aren't confident enough to blow off Valentine's Day, the question of the week should be, "What can I give you to show my love that doesn't cost any money?"
The answer might be words, reminders of why you fell in love. Maybe a poem, even if the lines don't rhyme.
The answer might be attention. An afternoon off together, on the couch where you once made out like crazy.
The answer might be time.
"Be with me. Be with me and be my love."
Once I read that lovers who can't communicate because of anger or apathy should sit facing each other, one person's knees between the other's, holding hands or, if that's too hard, holding knees.
Talk isn't mandatory.
Time is. Touch is.
All in all, that's not a bad way to pass another Valentine's Day together, simple, sweet and free of charge.
Contact SUSAN AGER at 313-222-6862 or ager@freepress.com
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It's a free country brother
  
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zx1012r
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posted February 10, 2003 05:59 AM
Flowers and a card holiday. But don't forget the card from Allison!
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vozizm
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posted February 10, 2003 06:31 AM
isnt that sweet
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VOZ
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 10, 2003 09:00 AM
Damn C. , yer a cheap bastard............
Cheap MF, buy Michelle something and quit coming up with creative ways of being a cheap bastard!!!!! 
Seriously, I agree with your post 100%. For a resident of Michigan, you suprisingly have some common sense.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Hells Dark Lord
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posted February 10, 2003 09:17 AM
easy there Ninja.....lets not be dissin MI......
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Otis
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posted February 10, 2003 09:23 AM
You know I'm not cheap ya punk. Just refuse to be a conformist.
By the way Rick, Michelle's dad passed away Friday night. Remember he had a heart attack ten months ago? Well, he never really got better. Had weeping adema last week and we knew the end was near. I guess that's what 2 packs a cigarettes a day for forty years will get you, he was only 52. She's down in Cincinnati all week, I came back last night for work and am going back down tomorrow for the funeral.
And check this out, her brother Chris is a Nuclear Technician on an Aircraft Carrier that is in the Gulf right now and the Navy will have him in Cincinnati tonight! He only found out about Saturday. A huge salute to the Navy!!!!!!
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It's a free country brother
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n da zone
Expert Class
Posts: 215
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posted February 10, 2003 09:34 AM
Good goin' Otis! That is what it's all about. You love her every day, not just Feb 14th, and let her know. That's why we get to buy all these toys!
.
Going on 28 years (ouch! - that sounds s-o-o-o long), but still in love. I won't say it gets better with age, just different, but still all good.
.
but I have found that its best to NOT dis' this holiday, no matter how much you hate the Hallmark aspect. Just a note on Friday, on the car seat, in her lunch or on the pillow goes a long way.
.
btw, I love youse guys ....
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 10, 2003 09:57 AM
Never one to disrespect a Northern State....
quote:
easy there Ninja.....lets not be dissin MI......
Fuck Michigan. 
C,
Sorry to hear about Michelle's dad. Tell her I'm thinking about her and her family. I know it's got to be tough on them. 
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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slug
Pro
Out in search of my mind...
Posts: 1433
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posted February 10, 2003 06:51 PM
Otids: yer brother in law a nuke? hehe cool.
seriously im glad they got him away for the funeral. i missed my grandfather's funeral due to my chief being a prick.
tell him he is fortunate to have a decent chain of command.
Thoughts & prayers go out to your family.
   
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Scooter
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posted February 10, 2003 07:06 PM
Condolences, Chris & Michelle.
Tomorrow is my aniversary. Never even thought about Valentines when we set the date. it was just an open weekend. A little something a few days early and it blows the whole holiday out of the water LOL. Take that Hallmark, cut ya off at the pass.
BTW Rick, just 'cause I live in Michigan don't go confusing me with anybody possessing common sense. (Pig Sooie!)
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"Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional."
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frEEk
Administrator
ummm... yeah
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posted February 10, 2003 08:08 PM
otis, damn well said. i'v always maintained that if u cant act like u love someone every day of the year, then dont go makin manufactured grand gestures a coupla times a year. rather, make every single interaction with them a tiny piece of that grand gesture, including the times when ya just want ta scream at them to shut the fuck up, but u hold back just a bit, cause u havent lost sight of the fact that this is a person u love (even when they are doing thier best impression of the most annoying person on earth  )
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Hells Dark Lord
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posted February 10, 2003 08:29 PM
my heart and prayers go out to her in this time of mourning....
and Ninja, take that finger, turn it sideways, AND STICK IT UP YOUR CANDY ASS......any questions......
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Otis
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posted February 12, 2003 04:06 AM
Thanks for the thoughts on Michelle's Dad guys. The funeral was tough. Then when we went to the cemetary, not to the gravesite, but some ceremony room. The honor guard was there cause her dad was in the service and in vietnam. Two fellas said a few words that were powerful enough then they played taps which just kills you then they took the American Flag off the coffin and presented it to his wife and everyone just lost it. Very very emotional, but extremely patriotic. Her brother was dressed in his dress blues and stood with straightface and a salute the whole time. Heartwrenching.
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It's a free country brother
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 12, 2003 07:51 AM
Tough.............
Man I know it is tough to witness stuff like that, especially when it is someone close to you. I know that you are there for Michelle 100%. Try to help her find some comfort, and don't forget about Ol' Otis needing some comfort too. You've definitely got to be tired with all the round trips from Motown to Cinci. Please be careful bro. It was good to hear from you last night.
I spoke with you, Harry, and Lucky last night. Bartina called Monday night. Everybody is fired up about May, and I'm glad.
If you need me, call me.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Hells Dark Lord
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posted February 12, 2003 08:58 PM
Otis I have been on that detail, and have had to present the flag to a widowed spouse....man that detail sucks, having to look in the eyse of the family members, and try to keep your composure....
I am glad they did a good job for her family...when its right it is something that will be remembered for a long time, when done wrong it is remembered foerever....
Have had to do 4 of those in one day...
ANd for all of you old vets out there...thanks for doing your time, I will do mine, and the next guy will do his, and we will keep the proud tradition alive......later fellas...Jim
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Otis
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posted February 13, 2003 04:04 AM
You're a stand up guy HDL. I can't imagine having to that myself. It was heartbreaking to watch. But you are absolutely right, his wife, Michelle's mother in law we like a great deal and I know she will always remember it and appreciate it.
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It's a free country brother
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Hells Dark Lord
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living life, and loving it.
Posts: 7981
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posted February 14, 2003 09:17 PM
Its a tribute, and a thanks to the men and women who have served our country...one I consider very important. Someone that has never witnessed the ceremony in person just doesnt seem to grasp the situation. I have had to look in to a widows eyes and present her with the flag...The eyes being the gateway to the soul, makes it difficult to not get choked up when you see the grief and sorrow in their eyes...
And it makes it really special when the person playing the bugle knows what they are doing....a good bugler can bring tears to your eyes....
Just our way of saying thanks for what you did.....
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When in doubt, lean farther and go faster....
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ZX6Rgirl
Novice Class
Posts: 38
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posted February 15, 2003 04:53 PM
I am sorry to hear of your loss, chris and michelle.
On the note of special occasions and making a big deal of them...
All of you are right...that is, if you truly KNOW your loved one. Then you know the way to celebrate a holiday that is correct for the two of you. That is important, the two of you, not just what YOU think, but what you both think is best. However, as a women that has talked with other women about men and the things they do..."n da zone" is the most correct. Most women just want to know that you remembered. Not about the money. Just my 2 cents...
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Hells Dark Lord
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living life, and loving it.
Posts: 7981
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posted February 16, 2003 12:00 AM
hmm guess I better keep tha tin mind .... honest hon I remembered the date, just forgot to get you anything, but its the thought that counts right...lmao
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When in doubt, lean farther and go faster....
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