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frEEk

Administrator
ummm... yeah
Posts: 9660

posted December 13, 2002 06:39 PM

Actual analogies found in high school essays

These had me cracking up, like a person laughing at a bunch of silly highschool essay quotes.
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Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment
of President William Jefferson Clinton.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

GreenGlenn

Expert Class
Ron Jeremy's Stunt Double
Posts: 370

posted December 13, 2002 08:44 PM

quote:
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Ewwwwwwwwwww! Nice visual!
____________
If you love your bike, set it free. If it comes back to you....you probably highsided.

bagster

Zone Head
Posts: 630

posted December 13, 2002 09:33 PM

Thank you frEEk!
I needed a GOOD laugh!!!

harryzx-12

Needs a job
Posts: 3643

posted December 14, 2002 03:13 AM

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

Or like all of us at DG-4 pissing on bartina's bike!

____________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out...Screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride !!!"

worm~hole

Needs a life
Miles to go before I sleep....
Posts: 10623

posted December 14, 2002 07:59 AM

From the bathroom came an unearthly howl...like when your pals yell 'Hurry up fucker!" and are leaving you for the Super Bowl and you rush to pull up your zipper and you snag your choo-choo on the train tracks....and they've already left.......
____________
“We sleep safe in our beds because rough men
stand ready in the night to visit violence on those
who would do us harm.”
-George Orwell

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