SPEEDCRAVER
Expert Class
Posts: 183
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posted August 28, 2002 06:39 AM
A PLEA FOR HELP!
Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before
>in
>our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous
>adversity.
>We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas,
>corporate
>scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires,
>and a
>myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now,
>we
>must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
>
>Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are
>living
>at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary
>level.
>And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their
>life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the
>upcoming strike situation. But you can help!
>
>For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
>of
>a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain
>economically
>viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the
>problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start,
>and
>every little bit will help!
>
>Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
>player
>it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in
>Florida
>or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
>more
>than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks,
>or a
>month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700
>will
>partially replace his daily salary.
>
>Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that
>home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
>Ferrari, or
>enjoy a weekend in Rio.
>
>HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
>
>Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
>you
>sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
>estate,
>and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon
>signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the
>player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean
>(for
>a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on
>your
>refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
>
>HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
>
>Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants
>to
>help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
>will be
>able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
>additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
>
>YES, I WANT TO HELP!
>
>I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked
>below:
>
>[ ] Infielder
>
>[ ] Outfielder
>
>[ ] Starting Pitcher
>
>[ ] Ace Pitcher
>
>[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
>specific team - $10 per minute)
>
>[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)
>
>Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player
>for
>the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I
>have
>sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my
>very
>own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include
>$80
>for hat).
>
>Your Name: _______________________
>
>Telephone Number: ____________________
>
>Account Number: _____________________
>
>Exp.Date:_______
>
>[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
>
>Signature: _______________________
>
>Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
>
>Account Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______
>
>[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
>
>Signature: _______________________
>
>Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-FUCK-THE-FANS now
>to
>enroll by phone ($10 per minute).
>
>Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have
>sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited
>to,
>telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are
>not
>tax-deductible.
____________
I keep all of my guns loaded, to many people die from unloaded guns.
  
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posted August 28, 2002 06:43 AM
