posted April 04, 2004 03:08 PM
How to tell if your friend is gay 1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaayming fag. A cat is like a dog, but gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat... "Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lolipops, Ring-Pops, baby-pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and
undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffe is to be had strong, black (or with thick,wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetner tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth,you've had a dick there too.
6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
>crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL,NBA,college ball, PGA, and Nascar. If you can pick out chartreusse or you know what a "fresier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of
textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for a meat-popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the motherfucker off. The rest of thetime he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger,
hold his beer, finger the bi-atch in the passenger seat (whoever she happens to be), or, if he's Latino, talk on his cell-phone.
8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC
(spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware...or keep thatshit to yourself, faggo.
"One out of every four people in this world is mentally unstable.Think of your three best friends. If they seem normal you're the one"
____________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out...Screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride !!!"
Needs a life
Full throttle!
Posts: One MEEEEEELLION
posted April 04, 2004 06:55 PM
10. If you own more than one toothbrush. Guys have one toothbrush, usually given to them in boot camp when they were inducted (As in go into the military, or go to county jail). As such, it's a mangled piece of crap, but real fucking men don't easy pussy ass crap that's not gonna be worth chewing on like a box of rocks. If you got more than one brush, the other one is prolly one of those fag-ass curvy handle fuckers that doubles as your ass tickler! Fag!
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82 Gpz750, 84 Ninja 900, 2000 ZX12R (Muzzy Big Bore Kit), *another* 2000 ZX12R (Muzzy custom stroke crank 1341cc motor), 2004 ZZR1200, 2005 ZX10R, 2007 ZX14, 2008 Concours 14, 2014 Versys 650, 2014 Yamaha WR450F, 2015 Ninja H2
posted April 04, 2004 07:14 PM
Heh heh heh............ MY toothbrush is a mangled piece of crap FOR SURE swft............. Hell.......I'm headed for the bathroom right now to mangle it some more! Heh heh heh.
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I'd Rather Be Roadracing.
posted April 04, 2004 07:21 PM
11. If your friend calls you constantly to whisper sweet nothin's in your ear...
Funny post, but as usual too much talk about "gays" or "gay ways"...hehe
Harry you fag. ____________
Official Charter Member of the RIDERS OF KAWASAKI MEMBERSHIP REVOCATION CLUB
Also a BadAss Internet Forum Moderator 4 Hire!! Come at me brah!
posted April 05, 2004 05:34 AM
Dave ,steve and brian!
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out...Screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride !!!"
posted April 05, 2004 12:16 PM
You forgot any guy that hangs around a hot chick and professes "Were just friends" Sure sign that guy LOVES THE MEAT PUPPET
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posted April 04, 2004 03:08 PM
posted April 04, 2004 03:20 PM
