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dcjens

Pro
Wet side of Washington
Posts: 1059

posted June 09, 2009 06:27 PM

is it ok to laugh here?

The economy is so bad that....

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Jewish women are marrying for love.

Even people who have nothing to do with the Obama administration aren't paying their taxes.

If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE, Pfizer and Citigroup.

McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names

A truck of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico

The most highly paid job is now jury duty

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting

People in Africa are donating money to Americans

Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "Finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US?"

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And finally... Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.
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Black 06

mike1024

Expert Class
Posts: 172

posted June 09, 2009 10:21 PM

excellent uplifting post! keep it coming like a big wang.

TooHype

Expert Class
Go Hard or Go Home !!
Posts: 427

posted June 09, 2009 10:36 PM

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they strike up a conversation.

The black Lab turns to the chocolate Lab and says, "So why are you here?"

The Chocolate Lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," comes the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."

The black Lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?"

The yellow Lab says, "I'm a digger I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."

"So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquires.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too, the dejected yellow Lab says.

The yellow Lab then turns to the black Lab and asks, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper," the black Lab says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.

Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes. I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"

The yellow and chocolate Labs exchange a sad glance and says, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"

The black Lab says ...."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."

...

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Go Hard or Go Home !!....2007 Diablo Black ZX-14, BMC Race Filter, Brock's Alien Head, Brock's Radial Mount Strap, PClll with Custom Map, Flies removed, Muzzy fan, Muzzy lowering links, Muzzy Fender Eliminator, 16/41, Speedohealer, Stretched 6", Lowered 3" IN GOD I TRUST !......If You’re a Hater….KILLYASELF !!

Douglas Home

Zone Head
Posts: 710

posted June 10, 2009 12:51 PM

what is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
20lbs
what is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend ?
20 minuites!!!!
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Doug Mackay Australia

KawaBonzai

Zone Head
Leader of the Back.
Posts: 537

posted June 10, 2009 01:01 PM

Knock Knock
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