Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted December 12, 2003 11:38 AM
Settle me down fellas....
Ever have that feeling that everything is just going to fall apart on you and you have so many fucking things to do and responsibilities that you're not sure if you can do it and it all comes to a head at 3am when you wake up and think you're going to die? Well, my brothers that happened to me last night. I'm about to go on a rant here so bear with me.
My parents are both retiring December 31st. They own 75% of our business right now with my brother and I splitting the other 25%, as of Jan 1st my brother and I enter our agreement with them to purchase the rest of the business, (talk about a huge note?), I have been named President of the company responsible for, well everything. And while management is nothing new to me, been manging people for over 13 years now, it's a whole new ballgame now cause the buck stops with me, the good and the bad. I am now going to be personally responsible for he livelihoods of over 80 people, 80 families will be relying on me to keep the business on the right path and profitable. My job descrption has literally tripled in responsibilities as I wil lbe doing not only my current position but also my fathers and my mother's (she is/was the CFO). Holy smokes, dealing with bankers and insurance guys and lawyers and associations and the IRS and MESC and a dozen other entities. It's very hard to describe what it takes to actually run a family business. REd I'm sure can relate.
ON top of that my second child is due in February and while I'm happy as hell about it I'm also kinda freakin out about it. TWO babies to take care of, more sleepless nights, more temper tantrums, more worry about sickness and illness. MOre worry about being sure they are 100% safe at all times.
On top of that my house is in the middle of my own remodeling, a new bathroom/laundrey room, almost done, need to finish the tiling this weekend and then build the custom vanity and sink. Tehn I have to build my mother a gift for Christmas (a deluxe mahogany spice rack is what she wants) and my sister in law a gift (a stone tiled top TV table/chest) and my brother wants a new Fireplace mantle for his new house, I did tell him that would have to wait a bit but because I told him I'd build it for him I feel "on the hook".
On top of that I've had a wicked fucking cold with crushing sinus headache for going on four days now, I got it from my wife who caught it at work (she's nurse).
So I'm kinda feeling a bit stressed and at 3am last night after I had to let my dog out for the 2nd time cause she was puking I was just falling back to a restless sleep when I shot up in bed freaking out!
Now I know many of you will just call me a baby and that's OK. I have thick skin. But I also know that many of you may have experienced the same sort of thing and may understand where I'm coming from which is why I'm reaching out.
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It's a free country brother
  
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David Preston
Novice Class
Posts: 47
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posted December 12, 2003 12:00 PM
I have had a similar experience, although not due to the stresses you are (rightly) feeling. I tend to get so psyched up over some new idea I am working on that I wake up at 2 or 3am and it is over in terms of going back to sleep.
When I was in the process of retiring from one career and starting a new career in a position that did not exist before I invented it, this happened every night for 3 months.
What I did was to give up, get up, and go for a walk around my neighborhood at 3am. I would spend an hour mentally chewing on these things, and then be able to get back to sleep.
It looks like all of these things (except the dog, wife, and you being sick) are actually good things, but a bit overwhelming all at once.
One day at a time, and hang in!
Dave Preston
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted December 12, 2003 12:06 PM
Lighten up C.....
Chris,
I can certainly understand you are under a huge load of stress right now, but hang in there brother. It'll all work out. I'm sure it will take you a little time to find the proper "balance" between work, family, and play. Once you get through the initial shock of the changes you'll be ok. Just don't forget that you need to stop and smell the roses from time to time.
Now quit fuckin' cryin' and get back to work!!! You wouldn't have all this shit piling up on you if you stopped fuckin' off on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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VincentHill
Needs a life
Posts: 6520
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posted December 12, 2003 12:07 PM
 Edited By: VincentHill on 12 Dec 2003 12:10
Thanks Otis, I needed that! "REALLY"! I was just sitting here thinking about the fact that I am taking care of my Mother's estate (At least your are alive). She has a house worth about $300,000 and the bills are killing me ($800 to clean up the leaves and close to $5,000 in taxes due January) for this house, the Parkdale and Yondota house. Then the cost of moving everything out and fixing everything and then to have it all repainted! (Remember, my mother became a "Cat Lady" and there was feet of Cat Do and several dead cats in the Utility room hidden behing work benches! Please do not forget the Gas, Electricy, Water and furnace repair bills because this is in Toledo Ohio, not far from you!
Add to this, my brother hates Phones and so the tenants are moving out of the Parkdale address so he wants to sell the house and since he has no money, I just paid the insurance on his 99 Caddy (Of course my mother gave it to him) and had his furnace fixed also! Remember, I have all of my own bills from the Medical Malpratice where I have spent close to $50,000 and my "Regular bills". Otis, someone that makes just under $50 a year (Yes My wife works, but her money is hers) and I get a small amount of Rental Income, are you now starting to get my picture? Close to $25,000 in Ohio, $50,000 in the last few years here, plus normal everyday bills!
DId I mention that I turned 60 this year, and wanted to go over 200 on my Birthday and missed because I just did not have enough money fast enough to do what I needed to in the time spand allowed, so I missed the mark! Also I must get everything resolved in the next few years before my income turns south?
Yes I am happy to see what you posted, because yours is different! I can and am still enjoying being a Kid even at my age! I have enough life insurance to cover anything that is left over. In your case, it could really cause a problem!
Short story you can relate to. A very good friend of mine worked for a family run business and made (My guess about 200 a year as the manager). They all got old and when time for the children to take over the business, they just said "NO"! They did not sell the business or anything, they just closed the doors! Over 30 people lost their Jobs! looking at it from that prospective, at least you even making an effort is better than what they did! I can now understand your hesitation in riding the bike the way you did! BTW< How old are you Otis?
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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MadMike
Moderator
FEAR THE BLACK FLAG!!!!!!!!
Posts: 6579
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posted December 12, 2003 01:31 PM
Some days I myself, as well all can be, get stressed about life and everything going on. Including Work, Racing, Family and Money. I rember just last week I was kind of down and stressed out about everything that was going on for the last week and one of my employee's told me about her cousin and she had just lost her baby in a fire. Now that really brings me back to the reality of how truly blessed I am at having the life that I have. So that night christina and I went out for a great little dinner, just to enjoy the blessing we have. God really has a plan for all of us and from the way it looks he has your plate very full! Man that is exciting, if you turn that around and not worry about your 80 employee's and new business, but be thankfull that he has given you this path in life to not only care for your family but to help and promote and care for 80 other families!! I bet most if not all of those people are thankfull that you are not closing the doors!! And by taking on this responsibility you and your family will hopefully be blessed also! and just rember sometimes it is such the little things in life that make it so special. Just think about your child and how they tell you they love ya! Now tonight have a family night and order pizza and watch a movie or go out but enjoy the true blessings in life that you have! and then Tomorrow grab the bull by the horns and run with it!
oh and for you family projects they understand and will wait I would believe!!
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wannabe
Pro
Posts: 1931
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posted December 12, 2003 01:40 PM
Edited By: wannabe on 12 Dec 2003 13:42
Otis,
I understand how you must feel. We all feel that way sometimes. Some of us just have a much higher tolerance than others. I don't have anything to say that would make you feel better. I just want you to know that I admire you for not taking the easy way out. You're sacking up and taking one for the team. Not everyone would look at the position like you do. Instead of getting a big head and thinking you're the man. You look at it as being responsible for 80 employees....like you are all of a sudden the patriarch of an extended family.
I don't know you personally, but I sure hope we meet some day becase you sound like a good man, Otis. I know it feels like the world is resting on your shoulders right now, but try to take comfort in the fact that you have a wonderful wife who will be your rock in these times.
Suck it up and kick some ass. You will because you have to. It's as simple as that. It really is.
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VincentHill
Needs a life
Posts: 6520
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posted December 12, 2003 01:59 PM
Just look at what Mad mike Wrote! Anyone that wonders why He is one of my Hero's, look no farther! Mike may want to win a bike race, but he also knows it is "NOT" about winning here, it is about winning "There"! Just think how happy the owners of the business my friend worked for would have been if you were one of their sons! We all have seen some expressions and a few of them I can think of are "To those that much is given, much is expected"! If you want something done, give it to a busy person! and more is MM Area, The Lord will never give you more than you can handle and when he gives you a lot, it is so you will know to go back to him for the help you need to handle it! We were never meant to do everything by ourselves! That is why we have family and friends! Just like you "Real" friends here! Yes we fight some times and get mad at each other, but I have not seen one person on this board that would not help another board member if the opportunity presented itself!
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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sneakyp
Novice Class
Posts: 34
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posted December 12, 2003 02:05 PM
Ive got some pictures hanging up in my garage of some of the solders over sea,s fighting. Some holding kids, & some on stretchers. When ever I get down I go out & look at those pictures & then I stop & think my life is not so bad.
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slug
Pro
Out in search of my mind...
Posts: 1433
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posted December 12, 2003 02:06 PM
not much i can add to the above, just hang in there.
know that (as is obvious from the previous posts) you have a huge family outside your home.
yell if ya need anything, and chances are very good youll get what you need.
something cool to look at 
  
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necro
Needs a job
My Grandma Is A Virgin
Posts: 2148
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posted December 12, 2003 02:55 PM
I hope you don't mind me saying so, but it seems to me that you're taking on too many things. Some of them you have no choice, but other are your own doing.
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3829
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TurboBlew
Moderator
BUSY DOING THE SCHIAVO
Posts: 4590
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posted December 12, 2003 02:56 PM
Can you smell what Bart's been cooking???? Breathe deep brother..
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frEEk
Administrator
ummm... yeah
Posts: 9660
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posted December 12, 2003 05:01 PM
damn, otis, defintiely puts me in place! i'v been worried sick about my own situation for over a year now (maybe 20 days off in the last year), but i got noone really depending on me, neither employees nor kids. makes it alot easier.
i agree with necro on his point of taking on too much. all those projects that are presents for oen person or another.. those are time consuming things, not like jsut runnin out and buying it. if u'r that busy, seems to me the people asking for those pieces really shouldn't ask. maybe u just need to tell em "sorry, but it will have to wait"? i know i never say that, but i'm stupid, so... 
must be real exciting taking on all those new responsibilities tho, just as much as it is nerve-wracking. guess the trick is to concentrate on the excitement and pride that come swith it, and not the stress.
oh, and i didnt stay at a holiday inn express last night, so the above may all be a crock o shit
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EastBayDave
Needs a job
Posts: 2245
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posted December 12, 2003 05:42 PM
relax, don't worry about it...lots of folk have it a lot worse off than you...
some of you know where I been the last few years....
____________
Enjoy the ride!
02' ZRX1200
00' ZX12R sold
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bikelover
Novice Class
Posts: 64
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posted December 12, 2003 06:37 PM
Otis,
I feel for you Bro. I been there, done that. Very recently actually. By way of co-miseration, I have had a bad year as well. Lost my mother last November. In April my daughter got in some serious financial trouble. Had to raid my savings for the $20,000 to help her out. In May her idiot husband goes spastic and holds a gun to her head and threatens to kill her. He is charged with three felonies. Thank God that the police got to him before I did. Since he is in jail, he lost his job. She can't make the house payments by herself so, guess who gets to help. She has two beautiful little girls, 2 and 5. Thankfully they are close by so I can keep an eye on them. We finally got her house sold and moved her into an apartment. Of course my garage is full of the stuff that wouldn't fit in the apartment. Thought things would be pretty good now until my son lost his job in August. This area is so depressed, there just are no jobs. I am having to help him with $1000 per month so he doesn't loose his house and car. If that wasn't enough, a few weeks ago, my wife of 34 years announced that she has bought herself a house and is leaving. She wants a $1000 per month as well. That leaves me about enough to eat on.
So believe me buddy I understand your stress and share much of it.
Keep your head up and I'll remember you in my prayers.
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wannabe
Pro
Posts: 1931
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posted December 12, 2003 06:53 PM
We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements in life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
-Charles Kingsley (1819-1875) English clergyman,writer
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ozzy
Needs a job
need guberment cheese
Posts: 3172
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posted December 12, 2003 07:04 PM
Thought you said you were stressed, shit this doesn't sound like anything other than a normal day for Dino!
Hang in there and do your normal best and things will work out.
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KZ2ZX
Pro
Nobody in Particular
Posts: 1166
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posted December 12, 2003 07:51 PM
Edited By: KZ2ZX on 12 Dec 2003 19:56
Otis -
I went through a period like this two years ago. On the 2nd of July '01 I was diagnosed with lymphoma. My wife was pregnant, I had car payments out the wazoo, my job was just starting to lay people off, etc.
I had to do Chemo, work (since I could not afford partial disability), travel, wife give birth, middle daughter had surgery for kidney reflux, September 11, then Radiation, change jobs (still the same employer), travel, etc. Christmas was a relief - no travel, end of Radiation and chemo. One really nice, unexpected thing that happened that year: the Diamondbacks won the World Series, and the Yankees didn't.
Since that crunch (the third serious crunch, and the most immediately life-threatening), I've been taking other crunches more in stride. I still try hard to do the job by the deadline, but I know there are limits to performance.
Kinda like my riding - I've found some limits, and know others can be expanded by practice. Life is the same - soon the stresses are taken in stride.
Many nights I've woken up wondering how I would pull it all off, and meet the incredible expectations placed on me. The only bitterness comes at the performance rankings at work - ongoing now - when I get word that people who don't know me or what I've done categorise me as 'meeting expectations'.
Well, I meet my wife and three daughters' expectations - I come home from work every night, and the lights are on in a warm, loving house.
And, that's not too bad.
____________
ASMA 47
WERA 147
www.dhowellbooks.com
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Dino
Pro
Posts: 1422
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posted December 12, 2003 08:40 PM
Congratulations Otis! You still have all four limbs PLUS you're ALIVE!!!!
On a serious note,......That's gotta' be tough feeling responsible for all those other people :O
Like stated earlier........one day at a time. Hang in there.
____________
uh oh
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BA
Pro
Posts: 1592
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posted December 12, 2003 09:28 PM
Edited By: BA on 12 Dec 2003 21:33
I use other peoples talents and my money to cure my "I've taken on too much stuff" situations. Can you smeellllll what the Rock is cookin'?
You've got a lot going on bro'.
You need to be sure you take time out for the things that will de-stress you. If you don't it will catch up with you, but you know that. Don't let things slowly take you away from your time with your family either.
Sounds like you've got the ability to handle it, you just needed some relief and you KNOW we've got your back!
Relieve yourself of some of those things you've signed up for, and take minute to do something you'd like to do! Any ol' thing!
Then you go and knock things out 1 at a time. Divide and conquer my brother!!
Ever seen the Footprints in the Sand poem?
Check out this joke I got today! It's great! Be glad you're not BOB!!
Peace out!!
Subject: Bob
Bob was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible
headaches.
When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came
across an old country doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is that I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that
it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes
your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the
pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the
condition is to remove your testicles."
Bob was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he had anything to live
for. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own question,
but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for
the first time in 20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an
important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different
person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a Brooks
Brothers store and thought: "That's what I need .... a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit," and
picked one out.
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 46 long."
Bob laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Bob tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Bob admired himself,
the salesman said, "How about a new shirt?"
Bob thought for a moment then said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Bob, and said, "34 sleeve and a 17" neck."
Bob was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?
"Been in the business 60 years."
Bob tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Bob adjusted the collar
in the mirror, the salesman said, "How about new shoes?"
Bob was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Bob's feet, and said, "Let's see - 13 1/2."
Bob was astonished, "How did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
Bob tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Bob walked comfortably
around the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear?"
Bob thought for a second, and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Bob's waist and said, "Let's see.....size
36."
Bob laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years
old in High School."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 34. A 34 underwear
would press your testicles up against your spine and give you a hell of a
headache.."
Ever seen the Footprints in the Sand poem?
Peace out!!
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DaveInDaytona
Pro
Posts: 1696
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posted December 12, 2003 11:21 PM
Chris,
Some people would kill to have the opportunity you are getting so settle down. Stress is all what you make it and tearing yourself up over this will just make it worse. I'm sure your parents had their share of it along the way building the business up to what it is today and just by osmosis you have picked up what it takes to keep it flying. They know it and everyone else knows it, but you just haven't figured out you have what it takes yet.
30 years from now when you are handing it down to your little ones you can tell them how stress out you were and how all your retard biker buddies pumped you up so you could make it through. When this all becomes second nature I promise you'll be laughing about how hard you thought it was.
Now you want to talk about flipping out, let me tell you about when I found out .................. Maybe later, I need to find out how this story is gonna end first.
You've got what it takes, now go do it.
Good luck,
Dave
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DaytonaSportbikes Forum
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MarkZX12RKX500
Expert Class
Posts: 159
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posted December 12, 2003 11:54 PM
I am there now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so bad I hope I can make the last few payments on the ZX12R !!
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fish_antlers
Administrator
The Truth is Out There
Posts: 21894
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posted December 13, 2003 11:13 AM
This is a great thread guys... I just want to say Merry Christmas to everyone... Good to know everyone is hanging in there....
Otis... finish your tiling project so you can call me and tell me how to start mine! .... better yet I'll fly ya up here and you can do my tiling too!
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What business is it of yours where I'm from, Friendo?
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VincentHill
Needs a life
Posts: 6520
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posted December 13, 2003 12:43 PM
quote:
Otis,
I feel for you Bro. I been there, done that. Very recently actually. By way of co-miseration, I have had a bad year as well. Lost my mother last November. In April my daughter got in some serious financial trouble. Had to raid my savings for the $20,000 to help her out. In May her idiot husband goes spastic and holds a gun to her head and threatens to kill her. He is charged with three felonies. Thank God that the police got to him before I did. Since he is in jail, he lost his job. She can't make the house payments by herself so, guess who gets to help. She has two beautiful little girls, 2 and 5. Thankfully they are close by so I can keep an eye on them. We finally got her house sold and moved her into an apartment. Of course my garage is full of the stuff that wouldn't fit in the apartment. Thought things would be pretty good now until my son lost his job in August. This area is so depressed, there just are no jobs. I am having to help him with $1000 per month so he doesn't loose his house and car. If that wasn't enough, a few weeks ago, my wife of 34 years announced that she has bought herself a house and is leaving. She wants a $1000 per month as well. That leaves me about enough to eat on.
So believe me buddy I understand your stress and share much of it.
Keep your head up and I'll remember you in my prayers.
I was thinking that you were doing OK on this one until you dropped the part about your wife! It would be bad enough if she was just leaving, let alone want money when she knows what you are dealing with! I do not know how old you are, but if you are in your 30's than good, better this happen now, than when you are in your 50 or 60's!
Reading this thread really must mean that "Misery loves Company"! Looking at all of the problems that exist, the real deal is, when you have a problem that money can solve, you do not have a problem! If money cannot solve the problem, "THEN" you have a problem!
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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Dino
Pro
Posts: 1422
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posted December 13, 2003 01:19 PM
Otis, what's the chances of you throwing together a living room set for my wife? Just a coffee table and two end tables. No rush,......just need it by Christmas.
ok,....i feel bad now. Have a Merry Christmas!
____________
uh oh
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aliveagain
Needs a life
Posts: 5033
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posted December 13, 2003 06:03 PM
Easy big guy!Can't change it today so don't let it rent space in your head.If things get a little too hectic ,you might want to consider asking the old man back part time as a consultant.Fear of the future can stop the enjoyment of today.What works for me is balance.Work,myself and family.I try to have priorities.
1) GOD
2) myself
3) family
4) work
I put myself before family so I don't take it out on them,sour family life and my work suffers.Just keep talking about it to the Mrs. and go for it.I believe you can do it and do it with class.
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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