fish_aNTLERS
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The Truth is Out There
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posted March 22, 2003 09:38 AM
BREAKING WAR NEWS!
In a massive "shock and awe" campaign, my butt has launched an giant offensive against the toilet bowl. Several cruise missles and other arms were dropperd, with astonoshing accuracy. All of them have hit their mark. Clean-up crews are waiting to enter the area, but the all-clear has not yet been sounded as it is believed there may be deadly gas or other biological agents present in the air.
Updates to follow.
   
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fish_aNTLERS
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posted March 22, 2003 09:47 AM
*****NEWS ALERT*****
As I type this, other members of allied forces are launching a second offensive against the toilet bowl. In a surprise turn of events, the upstairs toilet is now being targeted. This is perhaps an attempt to "surround" the enemy. Damage is predicted to be severe as from all accounts this attack appears to be far larger than the previous.
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fish_aNTLERS
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posted March 22, 2003 10:06 AM
we now have a report from our field correspondent who is contacting us via cel phone:
"I dont know if you can hear me or not as the noise from the giant air evacuation fans the allies have brought in is deafening. In behind me lies the upstairs toilet bowl. It appears to be intact, but there are no signs of life. It is unclear what was contained within the weapons the allies used in this offensive, but it is clear that they have definelty been effective, and with deadly consequenses.... we hope to have a report from the downstairs toilet bowl when officials permit us to have unfettered access "
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Zhooligan
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posted March 22, 2003 10:24 AM
 Edited By: Zhooligan on 22 Mar 2003 11:30
Hang in there Fish. Air Suport is on its way.
Pop some smoke. But for god sakes avoid any open flames or sparks.
____________
To those who do not count their life in years, but in how life
has touched them in the past and how much it can hold in the
future; -- Youth is forever.
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jonwright
Needs a job
Posts: 2416
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posted March 22, 2003 11:25 AM
Oh my GOD that was good....
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harryzx-12
Needs a job
Posts: 3643
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posted March 22, 2003 12:05 PM
That's a shitty story fish!
____________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out...Screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride !!!"
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aliveagain
Needs a life
Posts: 5033
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posted March 22, 2003 01:10 PM
at least you didn't bring in any references to the bureaucrats messing up the paperwork and leaving it back in the stockroom.
____________
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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Zhooligan
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posted March 22, 2003 01:15 PM
It should be understand by all or viewers and listeners that only recycled waste and paper was used. And no animals were hurt in the filming of this event.
____________
To those who do not count their life in years, but in how life
has touched them in the past and how much it can hold in the
future; -- Youth is forever.
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fish_aNTLERS
Administrator
The Truth is Out There
Posts: 21895
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posted March 22, 2003 02:54 PM
I need a feew drinks... I am on my way to the giant bikeland party here in Vancouver tonite.... I am sure that when I am well hemmered there will be some information regarding this from the press conference
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bagster
Zone Head
Posts: 630
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posted March 22, 2003 09:54 PM
****Breaking News Flash****
Another Trident nuclear submarine was just launched from a secret base somewhere south of my waistline. This awesome weapon of destruction will most likely link up with the rest of the fleet and join forces to "shock and awe" anyone who tries to stop its journey to freedom.
One side note: My sister in law will not use Mcdonalds® paper napkins because she see's the recycled logo on them and believes they are made from recycled toilet paper.
Sad but true. (You can't choose your in-laws)
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Zhooligan
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posted March 22, 2003 10:13 PM
Arn't they?! 
____________
To those who do not count their life in years, but in how life
has touched them in the past and how much it can hold in the
future; -- Youth is forever.
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