Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted July 01, 2002 04:18 AM
 Edited By: Otis on 1 Jul 2002 05:19
Otis goes down, in the dirt that is.
Yep, 90,000 miles of street riding since my last get off, I get in the dirt and crash within the 1st 6 miles. I was riding my brothers new 650XR. I had spent some time de-californiamodeling it and took it out for a ride. Here it is.
Well, I told my wife I would be gone for only an hour, I just wanted to check out how much faster the bike would be. I was having a ball and just cruising through the Manistee forest when I happened upon a 25-30 yard long mud puddle, I thought hey that looks fun so I whack the throttle open and went into it only to get haldfway through and there were logs in the middle of it, crossways. As soon as the front tire hit one, down I went on the left side. SMACK, right in mud almost knee deep. The bike is on it's left side, I am basically face down in the mud. I get up and shake my head "I can't fucking believe this!" I'm telling myself. I take my helmet off and set it to the side. I have mud all over me, even down my jeans, I can't see my shoes cause the shit is so deep the water is about 6" deep on top of the mud. I manage to pick the bike up and I swing my right leg over it with my left foot buried at least a foot in the shit I am on a real funky angle trying to kick start the fucker. Well anyone who has kick started a 4 stroke thumper knows what a pain in the ass it is and with my luck it won't start. It's 150 fucking degrees out, I'm in the middle of the woods with not a soul around for about 6 miles on this little tiny trail by myself. So after about 40 kicks and a heart attack I give up and just lean on the bike panting. I am really pissed off now and felt very hopeless. So after about 10 minutes of rest I manage to push the bike the last 15 yards through the mud and have to stop again to avoid a heart attack, I have sweat pouring out of me a million fucking gnats and mosquitos are all over me and I am for sure the most miserable person on the planet. I thought I better call my wife to let her know I'll be late cause I've already been gone for well over an hour now. I reach down to get my cell phone, and it's gone. Lost in the fucking mud and water. Now I know I'm fucked cause if I can't get thing started I can't call for help, we have many friends up there. So I decide to push the bike up this hill that's ahead and I'll try to bump start it coming down, but first I'll try another dozen kicks. No go, my leg is like a noodle now, no more energy in it, I take another 10 minute rest all the while wishing a Cardiologist would come round the bend. So I start puching that beast up the hill, get to the top and turn it around, put it in 1st and start running with it down the hill, manage to jump on and release the clutch, bludda bludda bludda, no start. FUCK! I get off and turn it around again and push it up the hill, I keep finding myself looking back the way I came for that Cardiologist but he's no where to be found. Rest a bit more, getting a little delirious now from the heat and exhuastion. Put it in 1st and run with it down the hill again, bludda bludda bludda, no start. OK now I really feel hopeless, it's fucking hot as shit I've been bitten 100 time sby mosquitoes and have aten at least a pound of fucking gnats. I think OK one more time then I'm leaving the bike and going to walk out. I am for sure mentally disabled now panting like my dog after a run. I puch that fucking up the hill one more time, turn it around, say a prayer and run down the hill with it again, I almost fall over cause I'm so tired, I manage to get on it and pop the clutch and I'll be damned if it didn't fire up. The problem was I was so suprised it fired up I gave it a whole bunch of throttle and the front wheel lofts and I almost loose it but dont' but I end ip in the fucking mud again but upright with the motor still running. So I reach down and turn the idle waaaay up on the bike so it won't stall gain and just sit there for a few minutes panting, feeling chest pains and thinking I'm going to die. I settle down enough to feel confident enough to get out of the sippy hole but wait, the logs are still in the middle. So I push the kickstand down and because I'm only about 10 feet into this mud it gets enough solid ground to hold the bike up. The motor ius fucking screaming I have the idle up so high but I don't fucking care, if it stalls again I'm just going to lay down and die anyway. I walk back into the mud and water and start moving these logs out of the way, there are 5 of them all arounf 5-6 feet long and about 6-10 inches round. Get them out of the way and go get the helmet. I now have mud everywhere on me, I'm still panting like a dog and I swear my next feat in life is to kill every fucking mosquito and gnat on the planet, they are making me insane. I get the helmet on and get back on the bike, drop it in first and whack the throttle and manage to get all the way through the mud and water without going down again. I get to the other side and give a sigh of relief. I am going fucking home. I check my watch, and of course can't see the dial cause of all the mud on it, thank you Tag Heuer, for making such a great watch, and find I've been in this fucking sippy hole for over an hour now. I take off and go back down the trail and then down the other one and go right at the dirt road and keep going and going and realize I missed the other trail and when I turn around and go back I can't find it. I am now fucking lost in the Manistee forest. FUCK! I have no phone cause it's at the bottom of the sippy hole, I still can barely breath, I am so fucking hot I think I'm a turkey on Thanksgiving and all I want to do is get home and I can't even fucking do that. SO, I just keep on riding this dirt road thining for sure I'll hit a paved road soon enough, Well I did but many many many miles later. It turn out that I know this road but I am some 22 miles away from the cotage, good thing the bike has the Baha Light package on it and is street legal. I start heading home.
Well, I pull up at the cabing and my wife just looks at me, what I sight I must have been, mud from my fucking toes to my head. I turn off the bike, get off, tell her I'm fine but don't ask me any questions right now. I take off my mud caked shoes and strip my pants and shirt off and go right by her into the house and into the shower.
90,000 miles on the street with out a get off, 6 miles in the dirt and the worst experience of my year. Now, needless to say I think about it now and laugh my ass off but boy was I pissed of then. This happened on Monday, it took til Friday til I stopped itching from all the fucking mosquito bites and the bumps went down. So the moral of this story is, if you are going riding in the dirt, DON'T GO ALONE!!!!
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It's a free country brother
  
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted July 01, 2002 04:30 AM
Just four words for you Otis.....
Lay the pipe down !!!! 
Seriously, I know it ain't funny, but seeing that you didn't get hurt I can laugh. Fucking shit luck eh? Damn I bet you were fucking smoldering when that bike wouldn't crank. One hell of an adventure for sure. You fucking goof!!! I think you screwed the gas cap off and did a little "Huffing" right before you hit the trail.
Rehab may still be an option for you man.
I'm still fucking laughing at this shit.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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12RPilot
Pro
Posts: 1094
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posted July 01, 2002 04:57 AM
It's funny because so many of us have been there. Good story. Hell, Otis, you should take up writing. I could picture you every step of the adventure.
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If you aren't an AMA member, you're part of the problem.
NESBA #209
http://www.bikepics.com/members/12rpilot/04zx10r/
 
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kzz1
Zone Head
"Show me whatcha workin with"
Posts: 908
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posted July 01, 2002 04:57 AM
Wow....Glad to see youre alright! Another reason why I don't go into the woods! Too many mosqutios (sp)
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EastBayDave
Needs a job
Posts: 2245
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posted July 01, 2002 06:02 AM
Great story write up Otis...
Sounds very similar to one of mine, getting stuck seat deep in the mud of SF Bay, while the tide comes in... 
I'm still LMFAO here...what an adventure...
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Enjoy the ride!
02' ZRX1200
00' ZX12R sold
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BlackMandingoWarrior
Expert Class
Posts: 320
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posted July 01, 2002 06:27 AM
Real Life Adventures Are The Funniest!!!
Just be glad you didn't run out of gas!!! At least you survived and can laugh about it now. Glad you made it back because I needed a morning laugh, it's been a fucked up morning.
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BMW
The QuickSilver Ridin MoFo
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted July 01, 2002 06:53 AM
Edited By: redelk on 1 Jul 2002 07:56
BAHAHAHAHAHA!
I rode off road (at a semi-serious level) for about eight years before I got my first street bike. After a couple years of trying my "skills" in enduro and hare scrambles events (often lapped by the "kiddie class"), I learned a few things.
1. After creating a "team" (the "original" red elk motorsports) of eight total insane, but talented MF'ers, a "team motto" was created... If you ain't wreckin', you ain't ridin'!
2. I was a far better manager then a competitor.
3. I know the say, The meek shall inherit the earth, but no one told me it was by the MOUTHFUL!
4. For several years, I was often ribbed by the team's members for, let's say, my timid riding style. My unwanted nickname was "Sherbil". UGH! That was until that fateful day where I got to show my "true talent".
While setting up the trails for an upcoming enduro event, we came upon a stretch of trail that was severely rutted. It was once a mudhole that a bunch of those huge wheeled 4X4s had gone through. Because of the heat and long dry spell, these ruts were all dried to a concrete hardness.
Over 30 yards of 4" to 12" deep ruts that went in all directions. It was impossible to just get in one of them and ride it out. Other ruts of various depths would cross it's path. Or what we'd call, "cross-rutted".
By the time I had caught up with the group, they had already been studying and debating on how to get across this "rut hell". There was no other way around it and it was the shortest way back to camp. An "A Senior Class" rider had already gone through and had dumped his KTM about 5 times before he made it to the other side.
Finally, they said "Fuck it" and started off. I followed, but only for a short time. By the time I hit the third rut, it pushed me back on the seat and I ended up pinning the throttle. This is where it got interesting. The bike starts to scream and I go blazing past everyone as my bike (with no assistance from me) goes wildly skipping across the tops of the ruts. It might have appeared that I had some form of control, but I assure you, I did not.
As I reached the other side, I realized that I DID NOT GO DOWN! I actually had to sit there with the KTM rider and WAIT several minutes (enough time to smoke a cigarette) for the rest of the group to struggle through. Picking up their bikes several times along the way.
From that day on, I was know as "The Sherminator"!
Then again, after reading your "tale", I'm a little hesitant to continue "restoring" that very KDX that took me through those ruts on that fateful day. At least my KDX 200 is a lot easier to kick start then that beast you were on! 
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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Ninjaman12R
Needs a job
as a Deal's Gap tour guide.
Posts: 4767
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posted July 01, 2002 07:32 AM
Good Shit.......
Man these are some great stories. Keep 'em coming, makes a Monday morning much easier to deal with. The "Sherminator" LMFAO !!!! That's a good one redelk.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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ZHooligan
Moderator
Post Whore Extraordinaire!
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posted July 01, 2002 07:43 AM
Great story! Of course it is great because you came back! Riding the woods alone is not the best idea. Been there done that. The XR600 and 650 are two of the best heat systems on earth. It is amazing the energy and subsequent heat one generates trying to wrestle them out of weird places and then kicking them to get started!!
My last big bore XR was not to fondly named Christine! Christine hurt everyone!
thanks for sharing your story Otis!!
____________
To those who do not count their life in years, but in how life
has touched them in the past and how much it can hold in the
future; -- Youth is forever.
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BlackMandingoWarrior
Expert Class
Posts: 320
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posted July 01, 2002 09:01 AM
Sherbil!!!
Now that's some funny shit!!!
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BMW
The QuickSilver Ridin MoFo
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TedG
Moderator
Posts: 8222
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posted July 01, 2002 10:36 AM
Otis, great story, been ther done that (except the mud hole was a plastic belt 5 miles long). That is why I alwasy recommend to people when they go to buy a trail bike to GET AN ELECTRIC START!!! Gotta love a Tag, you have explained why I wear a watch that costs more than most peoples cars.
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Ted
2000 Green ZX12 sold
The fast color!!
Green 2005 ZX10R
2009 Concours Black ABS
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted July 01, 2002 11:07 AM
Yep, agree about the watch Ted. I always wanted a Tag Heuer but saw how much they were and kind of balked at it but my wife suprised the hell out of me and got me one for Christmas. I love it, if I had my camera here I take a pic of it for ya but it's at home.
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It's a free country brother
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ZXtra
Expert Class
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posted July 01, 2002 12:43 PM
Sorry Otis but I had to laugh at that one too. Baa! Haa! Haa!
I'm glad you made it out in one piece and on your own. If you'd had to call a tow truck or tractor, you'd never live it down. -ZXtra
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The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick!
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Y2KZX12R
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CompetitionCNC.com
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posted July 01, 2002 01:42 PM
Wow, what a post!
Watch out Redelk!
Otis, I was laughing reading that. I sold my CR250 but I was in those situations many times. Except one thing, I always rode with a group or at least one other friend. Between all of us there was usually enough tools and parts to get anyone out of trouble deep in the woods. Even patching a tube in the woods isnt bad when you have the right stuff. And you can always have a buddy tow ya to get the swamp juce out. God I miss it.
I just cant take the violent abuse on my body anymore. I cant tell ya how many times I've crashed or thrown the bike away. I guess I could slow it down and ride safer like a normal person, but its not in my nature. Besides, It got tireing getting passed in the woods by Doug Henry like I was on a Z50a. Retired my ass! He's still fast as hell.
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
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posted July 01, 2002 06:55 PM
Three reasons why fat smokers prefer a KDX 200
1. They are easy to kick start... even after being completely underwater.
2. Riding like I do (or should I say "wrecking"?)... they are a hell of a lot easier to pick back up.
3. They are cheaper to just throw back down on the ground in frustration becasue you can't do #1 or #2.
To make #2 all the easier, I would cut a tie down strap and attach it as a handle to the seat's two rear bolts. That way, all I'd have to do is grab the bars and the strap and drag it outta the hole like my ex-wife (I didn't say that, did I?)!
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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Bikelover
Novice Class
Posts: 64
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posted July 01, 2002 07:11 PM
Ain't the dirt fun???
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted July 02, 2002 03:18 AM
I was having a great time til I threw it down, or rather, got thrown down. Y2K is right though, while it didn't hurt, the actually falling part, it sure did hurt from all the effort to get going again. I think it's safer, and certainly less tiring, for me to stick to my 172HP streetbike! lol
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It's a free country brother
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FinalVelocity
Expert Class
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posted July 02, 2002 09:26 AM
Heheh - good one Otis. Nice story too. I'd love to go riding on a dirtbike, though I've never ridden anything bigger than an XR100 equivalent on dirt. Plus, I have the fear of getting lost.
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Wildman
Expert Class
I only look confused
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posted July 02, 2002 12:57 PM
Whew, that's a pretty wild story. Glad to hear it turned out ok in the end.
I know you were sweating it for a while there. You didn't tell Michelle all of this did you?
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If you build something Idiot Proof, The world will build a better Idiot.
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djZX12
Expert Class
Posts: 131
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posted July 02, 2002 06:33 PM
Good Story Otis!!
They used to run the ISDT Qualifiers in the woods near St Helen Michigan. Those were the trails we rode on all the time. Our club ran an Enduro up there also.
I found if you came to a mudhole and lots of spectators were waiting around, there was some shit in the game. I believe some of those folks put the logs on an angle just out of sight to see us fall.
I came to one of these mudholes with muddy riders everywhere. It might not seem like the manly thing to do but it saved my ass. As I rolled up to the edge, I jumped off the bike and ran the bike through the mud. When I hit the log on an angle, it was no problem. Up and over the bike went with me running beside it. I reached the other side and jumped back on the bike and was on my way.
The spectators and the muddy riders looked disappointed but it worked for me. Never trust a mud hole, some bastard might have fucked with it.
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Have a Nice Day !!
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djZX12
Expert Class
Posts: 131
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posted July 05, 2002 05:20 PM
Whats Up??
Gee, I must have the plague,,,,,I have killed another thread! I guess X ZX-12 riders aren't welcome.
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Have a Nice Day !!
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slug
Pro
Out in search of my mind...
Posts: 1433
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posted July 05, 2002 07:34 PM
hehehehe
:-)
x?
 
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harryzx-12
Needs a job
Posts: 3643
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posted July 06, 2002 03:17 AM
Sounds like fun Otis
I've had a lot of fun in the dirt (mud).I raced hare scrambles,flat track,enduro and three stage trials,mostly when I was younger.I had a honda XL-250 when I was in england and most of my regular riding buddies were very knowledgable of the areas.We rode on a lot of the old roman trail systems.These guys go to france every year and stay in a french farmhouse and ride the coast around normandy.I went one year and had a great time.I miss riding in the dirt although I realize my body can't take the physical abuse of how I like to ride (WFO).I still have my XL-250 and an XL-500r.
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Body thoroughly used up, totally worn out...Screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride !!!"
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