Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted October 23, 2001 10:09 AM
Some thoughts on my 34th B-day, and a question
Yep, 34 today, born Oct 23, 1967, the year we landed on the moon. This year my wife and I bought a house, got promoted in my job, two new cars and a new bike (well last Aug), we got a new puppy this year that we saved from the humane society and then saved from the dreadded Parvo disease and now we are pregnant due next March so I'm going to be a dad.
I pay all my bills like a responsible man, I help charities with time and money, I don't drink much anymore, I am a reliable friend to many, and this year met many from this board at both trips to the Gap and would do anything for any of them.....so it seems that reaching the age of 34 I have everything in order, grown up now, so to speak. My parents came in my office this morning and told me how proud they are of me and my accomplishments and how great a father I will be.
So you would think that I am a guy who should have everything under control, no worries mate, right? Well this leads me to my question for all of you. Why is it that some days I feel like jumping out of my skin? Why is it that some days I feel totally NOT in control? Why is it some days I feel like I want to be 18 again, smoking weed and drinking a half a fifth of tequila and puking my guts out in the stands at a Michigan State University football game like when I was in college. Why is it that some days I would rather be anyone but me?
Now don't get me wrong, I am a happy guy and very thinkful for what I have and most of the time things are great but some days, man some days I would rather get on my 12 with a sleeping bag and tent and not say anything to anyone and leave town for a month.
Any thoughts? Am I crazy?
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It's a free country brother
  
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fish_antlers
Administrator
The Truth is Out There
Posts: 21894
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posted October 23, 2001 10:11 AM
Happy Birthday!
No .. yer not crazy!
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00soblue
Parking Attendant
Posts: 12
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posted October 23, 2001 10:17 AM
I turned 34 on the seventh, and I'm with you. It's time for a road trip.
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Big_Zx12r
Expert Class
Posts: 180
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posted October 23, 2001 11:03 AM
Happy B-Day! Sounds like normal thoughts to me! I am 25 and I had the same thoughts as you did, on my 25th B-Day! Oh..well...I just say..keep havin fun for as long as possible! One day I will look back and wish I was 25 again! 
-Big Zx12r
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zx11_12
Expert Class
Posts: 207
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posted October 23, 2001 11:30 AM
 Edited By: zx11_12 on 23 Oct 2001 13:35
Will be 38 this year and still feel like that. I think it's a healthy way of staying a kid at heart. We may be older and more responsible, but we refuse to grow up completely. I have heard that that is what women find so attractive in some men. That no matter how old and responsible they get, they never lose that kid that they were inside.
Just my .02c.
Steve
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"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
PJ O'Rourke
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BigJ12
Expert Class
Posts: 107
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posted October 23, 2001 11:50 AM
Edited By: BigJ12 on 23 Oct 2001 12:52
Otis,
Your normal dude, I will be 37 this year and sometimes I feel the same way too. It's all part of life. All I can say is try to take some time for yourself. I do it by hunting, I'm not talking about shooting up the place either. Sometimes my best hunts I don't even shoot one shot...It's just getting out there in the middle of nowhere, I have time to think about just how lucky I am and how my life has turned out so far. For me there is no greater feeling than that. No t/v, radio, internet, work, cars, people, nothing! Just me and the woods. You would be amazed how all your sences work when there is no outside interference. It's very peacefull for me and helps me "re-charge" so to speak. Find that "place" that works for you and make it a point to go there.
Happy birthday
BigJ12
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BallisticZX12R
Zone Head
& Deals Gap Board Member
Posts: 940
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posted October 23, 2001 11:58 AM
Mid-Life????
Otis,
My Man.
My header line is something that you should consider, In our lifetime (me being 31) we are in fact experiencing many things much earlier then the prior generations.
Ask Dave in Daytona, I am considering going back to school the beginning of next year to put myself about 50K in debt with student loans to probably (If I am lucky) to take a job that I will never make over 60K doing. That is about a 70% pay cut.
You also have assumed many responsibly that daily command your full attention, and that is something you did willingly.
Marriage, family, house etc are all things we do because sociality dictates that is what we do at a certain time in our lives. Right wrong or indifferent that is the status-quo.
What is important to keep in mind is that your wife and you house and your job is a vital part of what has made you a "NORMAL GOOD MAN" without that you might have not done so well...
Enough of all that...
Have a great birthday and keep your chin up you are a good man.
Bart
Feeling some Love
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Be fast and Be safe
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SleezyRider
Novice Class
Mean Motor Scooter
Posts: 79
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posted October 23, 2001 12:18 PM
Otis, you have been a busy man. With the purchase of a new house, 2 new cars and a bike you have exercised one of the most horrible instutitions in America... Credit...
Not that Credit is bad, but it can lead to much anxiety and frustration. When you compound this with being a new Dad...
well, life will never be the same.But this can be a good thing...
I have 3 kids and sometimes I also long for the good old days. But when it is all said and done the kids are the reason we are here, and they are the reason we go through the every day bullshit. Be thankful that you can have children. I know many couples that would sell everything they have for just one child. You are lucky even though there will be times you would doubt that fact.
Actually, you are experiencing an early mid life crisis, and believe me, it will not be your last..
My wife makes the comment to many of her friends that I will never go through a mid life crisis... She says my mid life crisis's are all parked in the garage
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SPEEDCRAVER
Expert Class
Posts: 183
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posted October 23, 2001 12:44 PM
Happy B-DAY!!!! Damn dude you have everything going for you. I am going to be 33 in December and I was about where you were about 5 years ago. Think about having all of that and then loosing it and starting completly over!!!! Just be careful and make sure you do not end up in a situation like I did. Starting over with the economy like this is a bitch. Your feelings of wanting to get away are normal, we all need some time to ourselves.
Have a great B-DAY and when you feel trapped or doomed for whatever reason always remember there is someone out ther that is worse off than you. I was feeling sorry for myself and thought I had a rough life for about a year after my divorce. I met a co-worker named Tom that makes me realize that I have NOTHING to complain about. Talk about a guy that has nothing good happen to him.... DAMN.
Anyway, sorry for the doom and gloom post. I hope to get to meet you and many others from this board next spring or summer. I respect the hell out of you and many others on this board!!!!
Now go out and drink 'till you puke for old time sake!
Your bud,
Alan
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I keep all of my guns loaded, to many people die from unloaded guns.
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BlackMandingoWarrior
Expert Class
Posts: 320
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posted October 23, 2001 01:13 PM
Happy Happy!!!
Hey Man, you're not crazy, you're just approaching middle age!!! Be thinkful (I had to say that) it's not menopause!! I think someone else on the boards says "growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Enjoy your birthday (just don't puke all over your shoes)and be bless to have many more.
Peace
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BMW
The QuickSilver Ridin MoFo
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FuckMeRunnin
Expert Class
Posts: 123
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posted October 23, 2001 02:07 PM
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Otis! I feel like you described sometimes too.
Bmw -That would be greg 1040 "Growing old is mandantory, Growing up is optional"
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"What happens if you get scared 1/2 to death twice?"
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marlon1
Parking Attendant
Posts: 26
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posted October 23, 2001 02:24 PM
Otis my man, Happy B-Day
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redelk
Moderator
Please... speak to the hand.
Posts: 3212
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posted October 23, 2001 06:49 PM
I'll try to not be on the soapbox too long
First, happy birthday... you little punk kid (I'll be 43 in Dec.)!
Second, it sounds like a case of "Could have... Should have... Would have..." to me. I could have done this... I should have done that... and so on. Let me tell you, ya young whipper snapper... it ain't worth the time or energy that shit gets in free rent inside your head.
Back in what some would think were the "Good Ole Days" rarely and really weren't that "good" at all. Sure, "responsibilities" can suck. After all, we didn't really have them back in the "Good Ole Days", did we? The thing is that we tend to forget why we even have them in the first place. Let's cover some of the "basics", shall we?
1. JOB - Man, this one can really suck. Maybe it doesn't, but you still have to get up and go to work. All the while, it's such a nice day, you know you'd rather be out riding. It just that there's one small problem. You see, you might be a "talanted" rider, but to the best of my knowledge, no one is paying you to ride. No one is giving you a bike, handing you all the latest parts and gear or even paying for your gas. Bummer!
Okay, so if one wants the latest shit and no one is giving it away, I guess that mean one has to (ugh!) pay for it. Pay for it with that thing called "money". Where does one find this "money"? Well, there are various ways, but the most common way that doesn't result in a stint in jail... is a job. So, we can conclude that if you want shit for your bike, you'll need a "job" of some kind. Unfortunatly, if you want a LOT of cool stuff for your bike, you'll need a lot of this "money". Well, sadly it's the amount of "responsibilities" that you take in your job that has a direct effect on how much of this "money" you'll get. One thing is always for sure, the "money" will never be proportional to the "responsibilities". At least if the job is a legal activity.
Still, with a job, you can usually get shit that your Mom & Dad would have never bought for you or you can at least get more of "it", if they did. Of course, it all depends on how much of those "responsibilities" you take at the job. The final word? In this case... "responsibilities" equals "money" and "money" lets us do the stuff we really like to do. Guess what? It also lets us do shit we COULD NOT do in the "Good Ole Days", as well.
Now on to the REAL SERIOUS SHIT!
2. LIFE - The truth is that it is not "responsibilities" at all... it's LIFE! The nice part is that it's all rather simple. You have take the responsibilty in taking care of yourself (always debatable) well enough so that you are still with us and the bonus is that you can still walk, talk and make babies. You can't tell me that you don't know someone who has died, who is in a wheelchair or who isn't being feed by tubes right now, can you? I guess they will never enjoy the benefits of the responibility you've taken and they so willingly ignore, huh?
But wait, it gets even more intense! The stork's coming to your humble abode. Guess what, dude... you have been blessed in ways that you will NEVER imagine or fully realize. You still won't grasp it all, decades from now. You see, I have a wonderful 23 year old daughter (who's blessed with a 3 year old daughter) and strange, but equally wonderful 21 year old son. Sure, they have both disappointed me at one time or another. Guess what... it goes both ways. I have disappointed both of them too. I'm afraid that is how "the game" works.
The same applies to your wonderful wife. Though you might let one another down, every now and then, you have something so many don't (including myself). Someone that cares for you and you for her. Someone who is willing to share all the ups and downs of life and it's "responsibilities". Imagine doing it without her. Now multiply that by a hundred, because unless you experience what life is without her, you won't have a clue.
The neat part is that because I have been blessed with children, I have also been blessed with imortality. That's right! I'm going to live forever! Now that I'm a grandpa (aka pee-pa), it just insures my imortality that much more. It's through them, that part of me will always be around, long after I'm gone. It's not my eyes or my nose they got, it's my attitude. Sure they might fine tune it, but it's still mine and it will be around for a long time to come.
Now there's even a down side to this. You see, now you have the responsibility of what exactly you are going to leave behind that will last for all eternity. Geez, and you thought just getting up for work was a serious responsibility, huh?
Most here know that I'm a recovering addict. Most of my "Good Ole Days" weren't really that good and I often wish that they were a lot older then they are. The thing is that every one of those days, the good ones and the bad ones is what made me what I am. For that, I'm actually happy. Would I do the same things if given a chance to do it all over again? I doubt it. I just don't really worry about what I've done or didn't do. We all know that we won't ever get that chance to go back. So, with that being a "given", I've just tried to make amends to the damage I've done and settled with just taking one responsibility... what am I going to do right now?
No one can change or go back to what was and I got a little clue for you... no one can change or "control" what's going to happen, either. One can do all the detailed planning in the world, but it will never be an absolute that things will turn out the way it was planned. Does that mean one shouldn't plan for the future? HELL NO! One will always need to plan and then plan some more, but be prepared if things change. That's because I can promise you, the will.
The bottom line is, all these responsibilities have not only got you where you are today, but they will be the vehicle that takes you where you, your wife and the rest of your family will go in the future. The best part is, you get to choose the vehicle. It can be a 12R or a KE100. It's your choice. It's your responsibility. All I can say is that I hope you enjoy the ride!
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There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering; all the rest are merely games.
-Ernest Hemingway
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Wildman
Expert Class
I only look confused
Posts: 318
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posted October 23, 2001 06:53 PM
Happy B'day man.
Marriage and responsibility wear on a guy.
Make sure you take time for yourself regularly. At least every week, if not every day.
Spending all that time taking care of business can poison you, don't forget to take care of you.
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If you build something Idiot Proof, The world will build a better Idiot.
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Bonehead69
Novice Class
Posts: 83
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posted October 23, 2001 10:20 PM
Happy Bithday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Bonehead69
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Dino
Pro
Posts: 1422
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posted October 23, 2001 10:26 PM
sniff,sniff
Otis, I think it's the glue!  Happy birthday! It's my wifes birthday too!!
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OzRed12
Novice Class
Posts: 34
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posted October 24, 2001 01:03 AM
Aint life grand
Happy Birthday Otis, I turn 39 in 2 weeks and I must say, it gets better.
I just come back from 2 weeks racing at Whithams bike school in Thailand. 3 months ago I bought myself another toy, an LS1 sexy looking car, tonight I'm going drag racing and just signed up for a track day in November. So, join the club man and enjoy the fruits middle age and more finance provides. My wife keeps asking when I'm going to give it up and start being "normal" again. My answer was, your gonna have to shoot me first coz I ain't giving none of it up.
Well I better go, have to start planning my next trip to Thailand in March!!!
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted October 24, 2001 03:33 AM
Edited By: Otis on 24 Oct 2001 04:40
WOW! Thanks for all the thoughts guys, really. I can feel the love in this room. And Redelk, peotic and thoughtful and usual. I really do like my job and I make great money so money is not the issue, no worries there. Responsibility very well may be but not for work or paying bills or any of that but responsible for a child!? I think since I finally got to hear my babies heartbeat is when it really hit me that I'm going to be a dad. I am so fucking happy about it I could cry but I am so fucking terrified about it I could cry too. I'm sure all you dads know what I'm talking about. Some times I just flip out. I was with Michelle the other night at the mall buying her some "bigger" jeans to wear and while I was waiting outside the changing room there was a woman in there with a 3-4 year old boy who being just a...well you know what. And she was rather ignoring him and then suddenly she turned around and grabbed him by the arm and starting yelling at him through clenched teeth. The anger in her eyes was intense. Well then the boy starts crying and that didn't stop. So she picked him up and stormed out of the store. I seem to be seeing a lot of that lately and I'm thinking oh, man that's going to happen to me soon? How I am I going to handle that? Crap. So I'm not sure it's a nidlife crisis as much as an "Oh shit I'm going to be a dad!" crisis.
I have taken up wordworking as a hobby since the weather has been so crappy. I went out and bought a miter saw, jigsaw, circular saw, router, two different kinds of sanders, and a host of other goodies a couple weeks ago and then remodeled my laundrey room. Then Monday I bought the wood to build a Hope/Toy Chest for the coming baby. Having a great time doing that at night in my garage when Michelle is at work. I seem to be pretty good at it and certainly enjoy it. I find that several hours can fly by concentrating on making it right. I have taken several pics while making it kinda to show the progress. I'll post some later. Anyway, if the chest turns out good I've got a handful of other things I'd like to build so that will get me through the winter til I can ride again. You all may remember my post about garage heaters, well that's why I need one.
Thanks for thoughts guys, I'm not crazy yet, or suicidal, but ask me again in in June when my baby is 3 months old. LOL
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It's a free country brother
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12RPilot
Pro
Posts: 1094
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posted October 24, 2001 06:03 AM
We're a pretty lucky bunch!!!
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If you aren't an AMA member, you're part of the problem.
NESBA #209
http://www.bikepics.com/members/12rpilot/04zx10r/
 
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BallisticZX12R
Zone Head
& Deals Gap Board Member
Posts: 940
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posted October 24, 2001 06:19 AM
Well What You Going To Do Know, Daddy?
Otis,
Just to light the mood up alittle.
My concerns are the following...
1) You're ass is going to go "Pussy" on us, and buy a Valkerye.
2)Although you are fully ensconced in life you will forget your fellow brothers and sisters of the black tarmac.
3)You are going to forget about the board and cheat all of us out of a good freind.
My tone changed but I have seen this before as we all have.
You are good man and I could tell that from the one time I met you.
Lastly, "Balance" That is one of the most important and usually over look items that can bring peace and serenity to you everyday existance.
Bart
Making more Love.
GO DUCKS
____________
Be fast and Be safe
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pat830
Expert Class
Posts: 135
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posted October 24, 2001 06:35 AM
Happy Birthday to You!!!!
And many more!!!!!!!!!!!
Just remember, all of us guys think like you every once in a while. It is just the normal "What if there is something better out there?" question.
You only need three things in life.
1. Something to do. (work)
2. Something to look forward to. (in my case it is riding my 12 and playing golf)
3. Someone to love. (Wife, kids, and you guys)
34, you whippersnapper, just wait until your 40's. (It's really the same.)
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted October 24, 2001 06:54 AM
quote:
And many more!!!!!!!!!!!
Just remember, all of us guys think like you every once in a while. It is just the normal "What if there is something better out there?" question.
You only need three things in life.
1. Something to do. (work)
2. Something to look forward to. (in my case it is riding my 12 and playing golf)
3. Someone to love. (Wife, kids, and you guys)
34, you whippersnapper, just wait until your 40's. (It's really the same.)
I know there is nothing better out there for me, that has never been a question. I am not a "grass may be greener on the other side" kind of guy and I have NO REGRETS with anything I have done or decisions I have made.
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It's a free country brother
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted October 24, 2001 07:02 AM
quote:
Otis,
Just to light the mood up alittle.
My concerns are the following...
1) You're ass is going to go "Pussy" on us, and buy a Valkerye.
2)Although you are fully ensconced in life you will forget your fellow brothers and sisters of the black tarmac.
3)You are going to forget about the board and cheat all of us out of a good freind.
My tone changed but I have seen this before as we all have.
You are good man and I could tell that from the one time I met you.
Lastly, "Balance" That is one of the most important and usually over look items that can bring peace and serenity to you everyday existance.
Bart
Making more Love.
GO DUCKS
Bart Bart Bart, you crack me up.
1.My ass will never go pussy on you and buy a Valk (I mean you no offense Steve) I'll be passing your ass at the Gap when we're 90!
2. How could I ever forget a guy with such an enormous organ!? I am not worthy.
3. I will never forget about the board cause it's like a favorite bar you just can't help but go to and get a Tall Killian's draft and bullshit with friends with enormous organs and the ass ripped out of their pants.
4. Balance you say? I got balance? I got so much balance you couldn't push me over after a case of beer and a ride on a Whippersnapper.
Thanks for the thought Bart, no need to worry about Otis, he be OK.
____________
It's a free country brother
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kickstartmyheart
Novice Class
Posts: 57
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posted October 24, 2001 07:15 AM
Happy Belated Birthday Otis!
As for your feeling like jumping out of your skin or going on a road trip--well, let's not forget that some of that feeling is likely to have just been genetically programmed into us males to ensure the survival of humankind. Its akin to our never ceasing interest in other women regardless of how hot/great the one next to us is--its part of our genetic package to be programmed to explore, conquer, build, mate with many, etc. We have just built social and moral norms on top of this which aren't always in agreement with our more basic urges. That's what makes us soulful self-improving creatures of God--we get to decide if we are going to go with our base desires or rise to a higher level.
Sooo...relax, its normal. And notice how you have already started on the answer--in woodworking you have found something new to explore, conquer, and build and time to be alone with yourself. Sounds like you found the answer to feeling better by just doing what you felt like doing. Whatever inner voice that whispered that idea to you, remember its sound and listen when it speaks.
Have a great 35th year!
Mike
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Mike
2000 ZX-12R, Green
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Life, love, and liberty above all else
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Otis
Needs a job
Captain Kickstand
Posts: 3028
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posted October 24, 2001 07:26 AM
Thanks for the thoughts Mike and I totally agree about the woodworking thing. Makes me happy building something from nothing.
____________
It's a free country brother
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