wannabe
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posted February 04, 2004 06:24 PM
OT: Married life from a guy's POV
http://www.recoilmag.com/news/area_husband_pretends_0702.html
Lafayette, Ga. -- Attempting to pacify his wife Jena's incessant desire for verbal interaction, area husband Chris Woodman pretended to give a shit Tuesday as his wife of six years initiated and dominated a series of prolonged dialogues regarding an array of unrelated, unimportant subjects.
According to Woodman, the thoroughly pointless conversation - which comprehensively detailed his wife's work day, lunch experience, plans for the evening and friend's relationship difficulties - took place in the living room of the couple's Lafayette home at approximately 6 p.m., shortly after Woodman began watching television in an effort to unwind from work.
"I love my wife, but Jesus, does she like to talk sometimes," said Woodman, 30, who works as a field technician for a local civil engineering firm. "I wanted to just come home [from work] and chill out for awhile, but Jena immediately launches into these long, boring stories about what happened at work and what's going on with a friend of hers and a bunch of other stuff. I just tried to act like I was paying attention and hoped it wouldn't go on too long."
Occasionally retorting with such all-purpose conversation perpetuators as "That's nice, honey" and "No kidding? Huh," Woodman pretended to give a shit about his wife's exhaustively detailed personal accounts until just after 6:45 p.m., when Jena was forced to interrupt the one-sided exchange to receive a telephone call from her longtime friend Nelly Smith.
"Saved by the bell, I guess you'd say," Woodman jokingly explained, adding that he used the brief interruption to exit the room and seek solace behind some cardboard boxes in the basement, where he remained for several hours.
Woodman acknowledged that although the lengthy, expendable conversation depleted a good amount of his after-work leisure time, the 45 minutes spent maintaining a convincing, give-a-shit veneer was not a complete waste.
"I was able to give some thought to a few things I hadn't had time for," said Woodman, who admitted to mentally drifting "light-years away" from his wife's inane banter. "While Jena was busy carrying on about God-knows-what, I was trying to figure out the significance of a couple of scenes from the movie Memento, which we had rented a few nights back. I think I've got most of [the plot] figured out now."
In addition to analyzing the storyline of the 2001 feature, Woodman mentally planned the couple's upcoming camping trip and also reminisced about his 1996 bachelor party weekend in Las Vegas - all the while remembering to nod, say "Yeah," and display other characteristics indicative of a person who is giving a shit.
Woodman said he often pretends to give a shit about what his wife says.
"Somebody - a guy - once told me that women tend to work things out in their heads by talking things out, so most of the time it isn't really necessary to listen to everything a woman says," said Woodman. "It's been my experience that the theory usually holds true. So I tend to just keep my mouth shut and let her talk herself out."
Added Woodman: "Besides, if something's really important to her, I'll pick up on it right away because she'll be yelling. Then it's time to get involved in what I'm sure she feels is an extremely important conversation."
After six years of marriage, Woodman said he feels that his willingness to pretend to give a shit about what his wife says is vital to the health of their relationship.
"If I didn't sit there in total silence, staring off into the distance but occasionally grunting out an 'Oh yeah?' or a "No kidding,' Jena would probably start to think we have a communication problem," said Woodman. "Sure, I could just walk out of the room when she starts barking out her meaningless ramblings, but that would be equivalent to just coming right out and saying that she's boring me."
"I pretend to give a shit because I care," Woodman added.
  
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MadMike
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posted February 04, 2004 08:59 PM
Now that is funny shit!!! I might have to take that mans advice!!
LOL..
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JoshDunn
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posted February 04, 2004 09:18 PM
I thought it was funny, But my buddy who is not married did not get it.........Thats really funny
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Otis
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posted February 05, 2004 06:30 AM
Sounds to me like any fella whose marraige is like that, just flat out married the wrong woman.
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VincentHill
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posted February 05, 2004 07:31 AM
Otis, you are still scaring me! You said what I was going to say! MM, it will most likely not happen to you! I am still on my Honeymoon after 15 years, so much so that we had to rent a Motel at Daytona because the place we could stay, the owner would be there! 
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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MadMike
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posted February 05, 2004 08:09 AM
No I dont believe it will happen, she likes to nap to much! if I am watching tv or anything like that she would rather just fall asleep next to me. but I still think it is funny. I have seen my friends wifes and some of them do this just for the hell of it!
Mad Mike
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 05, 2004 09:04 AM
Bleedin' cunt MF..............
quote:
Sounds to me like any fella whose marraige is like that, just flat out married the wrong woman.
Surely you jest............................
While I'm certainly not saying this totally fabricated story is right, women do tend to drift into their zone while in mid-conversation. They will go around the world nine times and fill the story with details that have nothing to do with the point they are trying to make,....if they even make one.  Every man here has sit and listened to their wife/GF or wtf ever and was mentally saying "Get to the freakin' point would ya".
Otis if you say different I'll go ahead and call bullshit now. I know you and you are a good guy, no shame in keepin' it real bro. Men and women are completely different animals, we are wired totally different. That's all part of the attraction. Remember oposites attract. Now quit actin' like a lil' biatch and go back to work.
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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Otis
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posted February 05, 2004 09:26 AM
Listen hear ya redneck turdburgler.
My wife hates to talk on the phone, hates to shop and quite frankly she thinks most women are idiots who couldn't find their brain if they tried. You don't know her so there is no way for you to know the truth, but trust me, she is a get to point, don't mince words type of person. It's mor likely she'd bitchslap you for wasting her time than visa versa. The only thing I could ever imagine her going on and on and on about is Alli. My wife had ZERO codddling and love growing up, only a drunk father, a bi-polar scitzo mother and four brothers who beat the crap out of her and her sister every day. If you think for a minute that she's going ramble on about her day at work or shopping or something that is not interesting, you're barking up the wrong tree brother.
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 05, 2004 11:29 AM
Detroit,....it's not just a city anymore.......
Well I have no reason to dispute your last post, but you have enough intelligence to know Michelle may very well be the exception to the rule. This statement you made pretty much verifies it * "My wife hates to talk on the phone, hates to shop and quite frankly she thinks most women are idiots who couldn't find their brain if they tried." * All women and men have their little differences that make them "who they are". But for the most part men are men, and women are,....well....women. Most women love to shop, talk on the phone, and couldn't find their own ass with both hands. The key word in that sentence is MOST.As in MOST men have "pretended to give a shit" to their spouse/GF, or even some dumb whore they picked up @ the bus station. Being that you are obviously gay, that doesn't apply to you I guess. I hope I'm not coming off as someone who doesn't give a crap about women, or their feelings, because I do. It's just that I've realized women are SO different on every level, and that's cool. Frankly I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'm beginning to think Michelle can kick your ass BTW!!!
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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beansbaxter
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posted February 05, 2004 11:36 AM
I am scared of marriage now and what it brings.
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deathpulse
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posted February 05, 2004 11:40 AM
Is her sister single/cute Otis? .
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RAC4IT
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Bergie
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posted February 05, 2004 12:33 PM
Dude I've been doing that for 13 years why do you think I've been with my wife for 14 years
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Otis
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posted February 05, 2004 12:53 PM
LOL. Rick I've always said the only person in the world I'm afraid of is my wife!
I know where you're coming from. We have a friend Renee who fits the above profile to a tee. Shit after 1 minute talking to her I'm in the "uh-huh" ... "really?" .."no kidding" zone. She bores the shit out of me.
Deathpulse, as a matter of fact she does. While Nikki lacks the self esteem Michelle does, she's still a tough cookie. She started nursing school about 6 months ago and just three weeks ago dumped her looser pizza delivery guy boyfriend. When Nikki asked him what he was going to do with his life instead of delivering pizza's he said, and I kid you not "I'm not going to do anything, now that you're going to be a nurse you will be able to afford everything" Can you believe that shit? She booted his ass on the driveway that day.
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wannabe
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posted February 05, 2004 12:55 PM
quote:
Can you believe that shit? She booted his ass on the driveway that day.
Good for her! I've known too many women who wouldn't have been able to kick the lazy fucker to the curb.
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MadMike
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posted February 05, 2004 01:15 PM
You know what is funny one of my very good friends, makes about 35-40 grand a year delivering pizza's! but he works his ass off! and the pizza rocks!!
Mad Mike
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Ninjaman12R
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posted February 05, 2004 01:29 PM
Otis,
You silly fucker!!!
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What we're dealin' with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.
Sheriff Buford T. Justice of TEXAS
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frEEk
Administrator
ummm... yeah
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posted February 05, 2004 01:50 PM
damnit deathpulse, u beat me to it!
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deathpulse
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posted February 05, 2004 02:07 PM
. DAMN Otis - hook a brotha up man, I make a bit more than the deadbeat, I'm 6'2" 225 lbs 10% bodyfat AND I drive a 2000 '12 . Sounds like a cool chickie! Too bad she prolly lives on the west coast or sompin  .
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VincentHill
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posted February 05, 2004 02:16 PM
Some of you have met "Po Peggy". She got the name because she married "ME"! Like I say, I am still on my Honeymoon, but what must she be on? I have asked her what she did (Bad) to deserve me? The funny thing is, she (still) thinks she did good! There must be a lot of bad people in the world!
I have a formula for getting married!
"Take everything you like about the person and subtract 50%! Take everything you dislike and add 100%, 2 or 3 years later in the marriage, that is who you will be married to!" Trust me on this one. that everyone is on their best behavior before marriage! To the women, if he is passing a "Little gas" now, buy a gas mask! To the men, if you are getting a "little now, buy some hand lube!
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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1143nos
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posted February 05, 2004 04:29 PM
 Edited By: 1143nos on 5 Feb 2004 16:30
Mr. Hill has it good. He was going like 100mph in the rain with his wife on the back, and what was she yelling?....................faster!faster!faster! Now that my friends, is a KEEPER!
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deathpulse
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posted February 05, 2004 09:08 PM
HERE HERE!!!! . Congrats Vincent!
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VincentHill
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posted February 06, 2004 06:39 AM
Edited By: VincentHill on 6 Feb 2004 09:20
The Lord take care of Babies and Fools! I am a long way from Baby! The Lord had to be a Man because if it was a woman, she would not have allowed her (Peggy) to have it so bad! (I have a good working Mirror) My point is, there are really some Great Women out there that are like your best buddy, but you can do "EVERYTHING" with! Sometimes, I look around at what my friends are going through (One has an excellent wife, but just does not like bikes and has not been for a ride with him for about 15 years! What fun is that?) and feel Guilty for how I have it! If my wife was in good health, we would still be taking Bike Camping trips and trips on the 12 and 11! I really miss that!
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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VincentHill
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posted February 06, 2004 09:24 AM
quote:
Mr. Hill has it good. He was going like 100mph in the rain with his wife on the back, and what was she yelling?....................faster!faster!faster! Now that my friends, is a KEEPER!
Thanks, It was closer to 150 (as fast as my 1984 900 would go with us both in a good tuck)! Remember that got me a ZX11 and when she heard 200 for the ZX12, I ended up with the first one my dealer got! Can you imagine how much fun we could have if we could move into Jay Leno's Garage?? (For that matter if Any of us could move into his garage)
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Made History @ Daytona and still one fast old man!!
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beansbaxter
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posted February 06, 2004 12:36 PM
Wonder if this really works:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3584811433&category=13539
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deathpulse
Pro
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posted February 06, 2004 02:14 PM
LOL - get my bid in there!!
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